Smitten Kitten

chapter twelve

       WHEN I FINALLY SEE NOEL, I try to ignore the way my breath hitches in the back of my throat.

It's the closest I've seen him all night, close enough that my senses are seduced by the hints of fresh mint and sharp citrus that are agonizingly familiar notes of his cologne. Close enough to see the rise and fall of his breath underneath his charcoal suit, hands tucked into his pockets, the moon illuminating his face and drawing shadows in places that make my mouth water.

Close enough that I immediately avert my eyes and remind myself that I do not care.

There's a moment where it's quiet, and I can tell he's searching for my gaze, but I deny him the opportunity to catch it.

"You smoke?" he asks, finally breaking the tension, voice cool and collected.

I shrug nonchalantly, pointedly looking out into the sky. "That's what it seems like, I guess."

"You know, it's bad for you to smoke."

I finally drag my gaze up to meet his, blowing out a plume between my lips. "Thought you were a businessman, not a doctor."

He pauses, opens his mouth for a rebuttal, and then thinks better with a sigh. "Do you have an extra on you, at least?"

"A hypocritical one at that."

Despite the murmur under my breath, the dry look he pins me with tells me it doesn't go unheard. "I'm a little stressed, if you have to know."

"Stressed?" I echo, brows furrowed. "What about?"

"You."

Our gazes fuse in the midnight air, and I ignore the way it trickles down all the way to the base of my spine. His eyes are earnest in a way that I hadn't been suspecting, in a way that I couldn't have ever prepared for, and I'm caught off guard. When I catch myself, I swallow, and the sky steals my gaze once again.

"I'm honoured to have such an effect on you," I say, tapping the burning ember off my smoke. "But I don't have an extra, unfortunately. Giovanni was only nice enough to give me one. Guess we both didn't think I'd meet any friends out here."

Under the pale moonlight, I can see his mouth twitch. "Jason, you mean? And don't worry, I saw."

Suddenly the rest of Jason's sentence before I kissed him is making sense. I sniff and shake my head, bringing me back to the moment.

"You did, did you?" Mocking undertones drip from my words. "See, I thought maybe you just hadn't seen me, but it's great to hear you were just blatantly ignoring me. Reassuring. Thanks so much."

My smile is equal parts saccharine and lethal, and I pointedly blow another puff of smoke in his direction, if only to keep the violence between us on a second-hand level.

He threads his fingers through his hair. "I didn't mean to- it was just bad timing."

"Right," I drawl. "Timing, gotcha. And that would be the time to have basic human decency and respect? That time? I wasn't asking for you to profess your undying love to me, Noel, I was asking for a fucking wave. Acknowledgment that I'm an actual human being."

I swallow, a little harder than usual, and ignore the way my scalp prickles. There's the logical part of my brain that's already gobbling up his excuse and sweeping the rest under the rug, whispers of overreaction igniting in my synapses, but I can't ignore the way my stomach is twisting. There's too much unspoken in the way his gaze shifted from mine, and I can't seem to let it go.