There Can Only Be One

I'm Tired Of Being Tired

Over the weekend Jessica was exhausted. She wasn't able to do anything. It was hard for her to keep her eyes open for a long period of time. She was unable to care for her kids or enjoy her day. The day after chemo was the day chemo hit her hard. She was nauseated, tired, and weak. Jessica felt like she was in someone else's body. Nothing felt the same. Starting Monday Jessica would start radiation five days a week for three weeks. Twice a week Jessica would receive chemo. Mondays and Fridays. These next three weeks Jessica would be spending her weekdays in the hospital. It broke her heart that she would be missing so much at home and not be able to spend time with the kids. Jessica grew frustrated not being able to do anything and feeling so sick. Dorthy and Sam basically did everything and she hated that couldn't do much. Jessica would leave bed sometimes to play with the kids but her legs would give out from how tired she was. Sam would just take her back to bed. 

Jessica laid on the bathroom floor leaning up against the toilet. She held a cold towel on her forehead and breathed heavily.

Sam came into the bathroom with another cold towel and a glass of ice.

"Here hun..." Sam takes her cold towel and gives her another one.

Jessica nods and places it on her head.

"Can you hand me my phone. It's on my nightstand.

"Of course..." Sam walks over and hands her the phone.

Jessica opens her phone and looks for the doctor's contact. Her face was beat red from how irritated she was.

"Doctor Burkes office, how can I help you today?" A nurse says

"Hi, I'm one of doctor Burkes patients, Jessica Shepard. I would like to speak with him."

"One moment, ma'am."

Sam looks at Jessica

"Why are you calling him?"

"I'm tired of feeling like this. I want to enjoy my kids!" Jessica says in an irritated tone. 

"Hello, Jessica. How are you?"

"I'm not good. I've been in bed all weekend. I've been tired, run down, and initiated. None of my medicine is working. I'm tired of feeling like this and it's only my first cycle." Jessica slightly raises her voice avoiding the fact that she was about to cry.

"I'm sorry you feel this way, Jessica. Chemo affects patients in many different ways, yours is also intense rounds. It's only your first treatment and your body is just getting used to the drugs. I'm afraid I can't put you on any more meds. It's just too dangerous." He says with sincerity

"Please, I haven't been able to hold my son or go on walks with my daughter. I feel like a walking zombie. There has to be something."

"I will have to see what I can do. I can only give you more if I take you off one. I can't take you off anything but your anxiety meds."

"Then take me off those. Anything so I don't feel like this. Please..." Jessica says desperately.

"Jessica, if I remove you from anxiety medication your mood will change drastically. There are chances that you could fall into a deep depression. I really recommend just pushing through it, as hard as that may seem."

"Alright..." 

Jessica hangs up the phone and sobs.

"Jessie, come lay back down." Sam takes her hand.