Who Am I?

Chapter seven

It's been a few months and I haven't gotten any better. I am not living in the hospital because I have to be on constant watch. The doctors have done so many things trying to treat me but it never seems to work. They have talk of this drug that still in trial that if it works it would mean I could be cured. They have done so much that I just lose more and more hope of making out of this. I haven't told anyone about the box of letters yet because those are for if I don't make it and I don't want them to know about it if I do make it out of this. Cody has stayed with me the whole time I've been in the hospital. I told him I'd be fine but he insisted that he stay here and just do school online. I should probably do the same but I just can't put myself up for it. I don't really talk much anymore. It's only when I'm being spoken to that I speak. I can tell this is taking a toll on my grandmother and I feel bad about it. She wanted to quit her job so that she could be here with me but I told her to keep it and that I'd be fine. Right now my doctor is talking to my grandmother and dad in the hall about the trial drug. I can hear some what they are saying but not a much. 

" So what do you think about the trial drug?" Cody asks me

" I don't know. The doctors have tried so many things that haven't worked I've lost hope of this one working." I say 

" Did they say anything about if it doesn't work?" Cody asks

" Yeah they said that it speeds up the process so it's only the last resort for them." I say 

" What's the success rate on it?" He asks

" Fifty. So they're is no sure way of knowing if it's going to work or not." I say

" Well all we have to do is have faith and hope that it works." He says

" Yeah I guess so." I say 

The doctor comes back in with my grandmother and dad.

" What's up?" I ask

" Angel I don't know how I say this but the cancer is worse than we thought. I think it's time that we use the trial drug." The doctor says

" I'm that bad?" I ask

" I'm afraid so." He says

" If it's the last thing you can do then I'm up for it. How does it work?" I ask 

" Well we'll wait till later because when we give you the drug it makes you sleep so it's best we do it later so in case it doesn't work you have time to say goodbye." He says

" Ok thanks doc." I say

He nods his head and leaves the room.

" Look I know this is hard on everyone and we're all scared but we have to leave it in gods hands now. If I'm meant to love through this I will if not I won't. I don't want anyone who feel guilty or think that if hey did something different then I wouldn't of gone through this. I wrote letters to everyone and they're in a shoe box in my closet. There's so many things I wanted to say in so little time so I just wrote it all down. Now I want you to read them if I don't make it out. If I do don't worry about it because I'm still here." I say 

" Are you sure you want to do this Angel?" My grandmother asks

"Yes mom mom I'm sure. Like Cody said we just have to have faith and hope it works. There's nothing we can do now." I say

We spent the next few hours saying goodbye and talking about the good times. The doctor comes in.

" It's time Angel. Are you ready?" He asks

" Yes doc I'm ready." I say

He comes over and puts the drug in my iv.

" It should start taking affect in a few minutes." He says 

" Thanks doc. You've done everything you could and I just want to thank you." I say

" Just doing my job Angel." He says 

He then leaves and we just sit and look at each other.

" I mean what I say. I love you all so much and thank you for not giving up on me." I say

" We love you to Angel." Everyone says

As the doctor said I start getting really sleepy and falls off to sleep praying that it worked.