The Valkyrie's Heart

~2~

Jake was in the hospital two days before he woke up. When he came to, Gunhilla was the first to greet him. "Quick question, where the hell am I?" He asked looking around his room. "Well," Gunnilla started, "you're in Valhalla." "Val-what-now?" He asked. "Valhalla is a place for people like you. People who have died saving others-" Jake cut her off. "I don't feel very dead."

"Sorry to tell you, but you are quite dead. Could we get through this debriefing without any more interruptions. Ok? Ok." Gunnilla replied sternly. "Valhalla is one of the three realms of the dead. This place, is the place for the heroes of Odin, or einhinjar, to be trained for Ragnorok. That's the end of the world by the way. Then you, along with all the other einhinjar will fight the giants. And most likely die."

Jake looked dumbfounded. "So, I'm dead, but I'm alive, and when the world ends I'll die again?" "Correct. Your getting the hang of it." Gunnilla smiled.

Jake then noticed his arms. "Woah. Wait a minute. Why am I super buff?" "Well bud, you're 'super buff' because when you died, I brought your spirit from your mortal body to here, where your body reformed, but at the peak of physical excellence, and as a perfect version of yourself." "Okay then. So I'm an undead Olympian." Jake said. "Pretty much."

He started taking off his shirt to examine his mega abs, and Gunilla began to blush. She had brought many a soul to Valhalla, but none were so attractive as this guy. Realizing she was staring, she stood abruptly. "I now leave you here. If you're up to it, come down to dinner in the Hall of the Slain. There are signs everywhere. Also, your room will be on floor 19, and is the last on the right. Bye." She said quickly, and marched out of then room.

Just as Gunilla closed the door, the Norse god of trickery himself appeared beside Jake's bed. "So, I would assume that you are more of the greeting committee?" Jake laughed.

"No, not exactly. I'm your mom." The god replied casually. "Say what now?" Jake's jaw dropped to the ground. "You know the story of Sliepneir? How there was this horse who was really hot and Loki was into him so he turned into a mare to woo him and they had a kid and that kid was a horse with 8 legs? Yeah, that's basically you, minus four limbs, and you're not a horse."  "How-why-what?!" Jake sputtered. "What, just because I'm chained to boulders in the centre of the earth with snake venom spilling on my face every ten minute beCAUSE MY CLUMSY WIFE CANT HOLD A BUCKET!! I'm not allowed to sire demigods? I'm hurt!"

'Well,' Jake thought, 'I couldn't fathom this day getting any weirder, but now I've been compared to a horse and met my mom, who is a dude. Alrighty then.'

Before he could ask Loki any questions, he remembered how he got here. He had died, and left his little sister Katie to find this mysterious Camp Halfblood herself. She was 8, how was an 8 year old supposed to get to a mythical camp on the Long Island Sound, from downtown New York? And without her big brother, that was even more perilous!

He blurted out, "Why did you leave Katie and I when dad died?" Loki snorted. "Katie is not my problem. You see, she is also half god, but not in the Norse sense. Her mother is the Greek goddess of agriculture, Demeter. She also took and interest in your father. And I totally would have taken you in, but, you know, being chained to rocks and being burned with venom every few minutes takes up most of my schedule. Oh, I haven't even introduced myself properly! Silly me. I'm Loki, Norse god of trickery, and evil."

"So my mom is a dude who happens to be a god, no less the god of Evil? Alright." Jake said slowly, listening to himself to make sure he didn't sound to crazy. "Yes. Good job son." Loki smiled, as if this exchange weren't the weirdest this ever.

"I have a deal for you. If you help kickstart Ragnorok, I'll get you your sister back." Loki said, suddenly serious. "Why would you want to speed if the end of the world?" Jake asked, utterly confused. "To get rid of those blasted gods, obviously! Until you know what it feels like to watch one of your sons kill his brother, and then be tied to boulders with his intestines, and  have snake venom dropped on your face for eternity, you will never understand why the gods must be vanquished." Loki rambled, seemingly near tears.

"So if I help you, you'll get me back to my sister?" Jake asked. "Yes." Loki said seriously. "Also, so you can't betray me, I would like you to sign this contract. It basically states that you do what I say, and don't question me. That good?"

Jake looked at his mom-dad, who appeared to be almost weeping, and said, "Fine. As long as you promise that  Katie and I will survive Ragnorok, and you don't hurt her." "Ooh goodie," Loki exclaimed, his air of sadness vanishing. He produced a pen for thin air, and handed it to Jake. He then pulled an impossibly long piece of parchment from his jacket pocket, and threw Jake the bottom end. "Sign on the dotted line please." Loki said, in a monotone voice. Jake took a deep breath, and signed the contract. Loki smiled and replied in the same robotic voice, " It has been a pleasure doing business with you." And vanished. Before Jake could process what had happened, he passed out on the hospital bed.

A.N. HEY BROS! How ya doing. Yes, CraftyMyths I know this is late, and I'm really sorry. But did ya like it? Tell me cause I wanna know! K bye, gotta hoof it to volleyball! BYEEEE!!!!