Forget Me Not

Why does he do this to me?

When you feel numb, and can't quite grasp reality, when you're just in a blank space that feels like bliss. That's where I'm at right now, numb and gone from reality.  The feeling of floating in the air, without really floating.  Not sure if unconsciousness is what you could call this, although I couldn't tell my surroundings.    Suddenly I could feel a soft touch upon my fingers as if someone was playing with them.  Then a couple voices speaking softly,  not hushed just muffled from my state of mind.   I gasped taking in a big breath of air and my surroundings began to become clearer.   I was laying in an urgent care bed,  Chris right next to me gently holding my hand while talking to a doctor that rushed closer at my sudden gasp.  

I couldnt quite grasp the words he was saying,  I could only feel Chris's fingers against my own, the soft feeling and gentle spark it was sending into my body.   Something must have happened, I remember very little.  My body trembled slightly as I remembered seeing Chris in the coffee shop before the pills took hold of me.   But it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, the black that took me was the same that took me every time.    "Miss do you know where you are?" The doctor spoke and looked me over as I slowly came to a bit more. All I could muster was shaking my head and adverting my eyes to him. "Anna." I croaked out softly to the doctor earning an eager smile from Chris. "Well Anna this gentleman said you fainted, while speaking to him in the coffee shop over on brown." The doctor said as he checked my vitals carefully. "Do you have these types of things happen often Anna?" The doctor asked, causing me to carefully bite my lip and shake my head. Why would this happen to me, why now I was so close to getting out and now I'm going to have this man worrying. "I take medications for anxiety, and ptsd." I whispered to the doctor and saw him nod. Chris eagerly leaning forward and then backward in his chair not sure if he should be listening to what I was saying.

He shouldn't be, I didn't want him to be, because that would bring him closer. I couldn't have closer, whores didn't do close. He slowly stood and let go of my hand, causing a slight involuntarily whimper to fall from my lips. He looked a bit lost himself and nodded towards the door before walking out. "Anna, is there anything else we should know." The doctor asked as I watched the door. I shouldn't be wanting him to walk back in right now. I mentally scolded my self and sighed. "No but I'm going to be late for work." I muttered, not wanting to go into detail about my life with this man. "Well you seem alright, your vitals are fine I don't see why you can't be released, but I'd recommend not going to work for tonight. Take it easy." The doctor said before signing some papers and release forms for me. "I'm... Not sure I can miss it." I said slowly and the doctor chuckled handing me a note. I mentally scoffed at it, no john would let a doctor tell his prostitute no.

I just smiled and slowly got myself up, gathering my bag and walking out to find Chris in the hallway typing furiously at his phone. I cleared my throat, causing him to look up with wide eyes. "Um, I can just drop you off at home if you want." He said and looked me up and down trying to give off a soft smile. "That'd be nice thanks Chris." I said and tried to smile back. I headed towards the entrance, sensing him walking right behind me before stopping when he gently grabbed my arm. "Anna." He said softly right next to my ear. "I don't want to take you home, I don't want to search for you again or let you go back to that life." He said causing me to jump. "Chris you don't know me, you don't need to get mixed up with me. I'll just take the bus and go home. I have work to do, you don't want anything to do with me. I'm just a whore." I said slightly seething as I walked away from him, praying to god he wouldn't follow me. Why was he trying to do this to me? Why would anyone want to do something like that, he should just let me be, I wouldn't be around long anyways.