Behind the dazzling smile, silver tongue, and painted lips, was a lonely girl with an empty space where her heart used to be. So Sierra Palmer began to take tiny pieces from the hearts of the men who foolishly welcomed her into their beds. Slowly cr...
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"Thank you for coming with me." Sierra mumbled as she bit at her fingernails. The nerves she was feeling at the moment where beyond any she'd felt up to this point her life. So much so that she had resorted back to an old habit she'd worked hard to kick.
"No problem." Reagan stood across from her in her fleece pajama bottoms and one of Austins sweatshirts, looking like she had just rolled out of bed. Of course that's probably exactly what had happened, seeming that Sierra had called her in a panic at a quarter to midnight. She had been getting ready to take her pill like usual when she realized she was late.
Ten days over due for her period. Sierra was never late, everything had always been exactly on time like clockwork. Now, the two of them stood in the cramped and dirty gas station bathroom. The pregnancy test sitting on the sink counter between them.
Reagan pulled her hands from the pockets of her sweatshirt, wearing an expression of concern. Sierra knew that she was the one other person in her life besides Jonas that she could rely on to keep her honest and to be the shoulder to lean on when things blew up in her face. Which they did, often.
The timer on her cellphone began to chime, and all the air left her lungs in strong whoosh. She dropped her hand to the screen, swiping it off. Two minutes was not enough time for her to contemplate how life altering this moment could be. She was not ready.
This was not a scenario she had ever planned for or thought she would have to worry about. Sierra had always been careful during sex, protection and cleanliness were musts. Except In her minds eye she could see the moment of error. The point in the timeline where she had deviated from her usual procedures.
One night. One slip up and here she was, at a crossroad in her life.
"Are you going to look?" Reagan questioned, pulling Sierra from her internal monologue.
She lifted her face to the plastic stick that held her whole world on a very thin and frayed string, "I can't look." The words came out in a breathless croak as Sierra looked to her best friend, "You look at it for me, please?" She tried not to sound to pushy.
Reagan's lips pursed at the request as if she was contemplating saying no for a moment. There was a moment of tense silence between them, neither of them wanting the responsibility of being the one to find out the results. After a heartbeat of time, Reagan reached out for the test. Sierra watched while she lifted it up before closing her eyes, unable to handle the suspense. Her heart felt like it was ready to explode out of her chest.
What if she was pregnant? What if she wasn't? Her emotions warred with her, tearing and twisting her in every direction. It felt like time was being stretched out into infinitely, and it was killing her, "Well?" She questioned, eyes still sealed shut.
Reagan sucked in an even breath, "Its positive." The words were simply a confirmation of the feelings she already had begun to feel. Slowly, Sierra opened her eyes. The dirty bathroom seemed like a universal metaphor for her life at the moment.
"Do you know what you want to do?" Her friend questioned in a soft voice like she was afraid if she spoke louder Sierra would shatter. The thing was she knew that she had options because she couldn't have been more than six weeks along.
Keep it. Abort it. Give it away.
Her mind seemed to shy away from her current thoughts, unable to deal with them. At the moment all Sierra wanted to do was crawl into her bed and bury her head under her pillows. If only it was possible to dream her problems away, just pretend they never existed and then ...poof. They would be gone.
"I can't think about any of this right now." She found herself pushing away from the sink. Sierra was simply going to handle this later. She knew the truth now, it was step out of the darkness. Reagan stood stiffly, watching her with furrowed brows. Sierra's gaze drifted to the test she was still holding, "Throw that thing away and lets get you back to bed before your boyfriend hunts me down." She knew they way she was responding to the situation was out of sync with her emotions but she couldn't let go of what control she had left.
Her lips turned up into a familiar smile, out of habit. It didn't matter that she wanted to cry or that she could feel the liquid building up in her eyes. Her smile remained, her permanent shield against the pain of the world.
Reagan's expression softened, "Oh, Sierra..." she tossed the test into the trash before pulling Sierra into a comforting hug.
She felt the urge for a moment to push her friend away but it passed when the anger turned to hopelessness. Sierra leaned into Reagan, letting out a quiet sob, "I don't know what I am going to do...what am I supposed to do..." she buried her face into Reagan shoulder.
"It's okay. That's okay. You have time...take a couple of days to think about it before you rush into making any permanent decisions." Reagan rubbed small circles into her back as she continued to cry. Everything in her life felt like it was falling apart. It was too much for her to handle alone. "Whatever you decide Sierra...you know I'll be here for you." The words brought her comfort, happy that she had someone to rely on, who didn't and wouldn't judge her.
Her tears tapered off, and she let out a shaky breath as she pulled back from Reagan. She wiped at her tears and snot with the back of her hand, looking rather unattractive at the moment, "Thanks. You're the best, Reagan."
Reagan lifted her sleeved arm and wiped Sierra's nose, "What are friends for but to be someone we can ugly cry in front of and then human tissues..." Sierra snorted at the awkwardness of her friend, trying to lighten the mood. This was what had made her so endearing in the first place.
"Come on, let's get out of here before we catch the plague." Sierra turned away, opening the door.
Reagan gave a quick look around the bathroom with equal disgust, "good idea."
They returned the bathroom key and walked to the car in silence. It wasn't until they were getting into it that Reagan spoke up, "Do you know who the father is?"
It was a fair question. Sierra couldn't fault people for asking it, considering how freely she lived with her body. She turned her face in Reagan's direction as she closed her door, "Yeah I know who the father is."
The man she had been actively avoiding since the night in the club.
