My Little Skyscraper

Chapter 2

I kept staring, and staring, and staring, and… staring. I exhaled a deep breath that I didn’t even know I was holding in. Nope. Nothing. Nada. ZIP-O!

I was still lying there, after 6 hours, still not asleep. Usually, I wouldn’t be able to go to sleep because my mind was going crazy. But not this time. There was absolutely nothing on my mind, none what’s so ever. All I did was stare at the white ceiling above me. I only blinked occasionally, only when necessary. My breathing was abnormally slow and yet I couldn’t sleep. Was I not relaxed enough? Was I even relaxed?

Even though my mind isn’t running a hundred miles a minute through all of the terrible horrors of this world, I am pretty sure that I am going to go crazy from having a plain white blank piece of nothing as the only thing in my vision if I keep this up for any longer. Give me an hour or 2, maybe 3, and I would surely break.

Here’s the thing about the color white. Most people think it represents innocence and purity. How beautiful the color is and how many possibilities you can make off of a white canvas. It’s so heavenly symbolic. Angles, clouds, fluffy cotton balls, light; basically all good things. Well, that hell as sure is not how I see it! White is a blank color. It's blank, nothing at all. Hey! Kind of like me right now! No. Sorry, anyways, back to the point. White represents emptiness. White is cold and hard, just like ice. It represents death, and darkness, like the winter. Winter goes spreading quickly, killing everything in sight, freezing it to death. It is stationary, it doesn’t move. White is a frozen color, a boring color. A depressing color.

It may still look like a pretty white canvas to you, that you can draw and paint anything you want that comes to your imagination. Where there are no rules and no limitations, filled with endless possibilities. But for me, it’s a blank canvas. It’s a reminder of never being able to reach my dreams or accomplishing anything, being a failure at life. It’s never going anywhere, being a hard cold person, emotionless, empty, stuck in this everlasting depression. And it never changes. It’s just white. There’s no light white or dark white. It’s just, white.  

After my, analytical, depressing, and hopeless whirlwind of thoughts about the color white, (I know, pretty pathetic right? literally, like, it’s just a color) I decided to pull out my iPod and listen to music. I put on inspiring and calming Demi songs, and within minutes, I was drifting off to sleep with tears threatening to spill. But of course, my tuff exterior wouldn’t allow that. I finally fell asleep with one last thought on my mind…

I was just like a white crayon.

The white crayon that no one used or bothered to care about in the crayon box. Forgotten about. Left there, alone, to just be thrown out and die.

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Daddy. Daddy!

Stop, you’re hurting me.

AHHHHHHHHH

 

Oowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww……….. *sniffles*

 

D-D-Da-d-de. P-p-ple-pleas-please. S-sto-p-p.

 

SMACK!

 

Uh-uh-uh-uh……