Tortured life

Hi my name is Arisa I'm 16

I've been raped and abused my whole life by my mom and dad we'll he's not my real dad he's my step dad he got me pregnant and I tried to tell my mom but she beats me so I just left it alone I ran away 4 times but they always caught me but I wear dirty clothes because they don't buy me any or wash them I really stink cause they don't let me shower when I say dirty , ...I mean I'm dirty I look like a hobo but the house is clean I cry my self to sleep at night ever night amatter of fact but I'm writing in my diary and I hear footsteps so I got to go ....

"bitch you hear me calling you" I hear my step dad say "no" I say shalom my head fast scared for my life

"what I tell you to call me" he yelled in my face

only god know what I want to do to him -.- "daddy" I say lowly looking down

"did I tell you to look away" he says punches me and laying me on the bed ripping off her clothes "see now daddy has to teach you a lesson" he screams examining over my body as he enters me roughly all I did was cry cry and leg this man hurt me what else can I do I'm weak

all I could do was think ...

I've fought I've cried I've screamed and kicked but no one came to rescue me so WHY TRY to save myself if I can't win I even prayed but the man up there never came to help me... Sometimes I think there is no god or god doesn't love me ..... I hate myself I hate him for what he put me through HATE Is A STRONG WORD and I think I mean it I just want my real dad back ! I wonder if god can hear my cries but doesn't know it's me YOUNG AND ABUSED ..... I'm only 14 , crying , getting bullied cause I stink it not my fault that I don't have a parent that loves me , should me FIGHTING TO GET THROUGH help me or knock me down having faith doesn't really matter in any K.O round I'm not even gonna try cause I always get blocked and pushed down ! ...

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👯13A$I€_£AM3🎤