Lost In a Sea of Thoughts

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When I refused to pick up the pen, the gun behind me forced my head down to stare at the line where I am to sign my name.

I cursed them in my native tongue. The Nation, I thought; I spit on that name.

A wall of smog born from their country's heavy use of pollutants can be seen from our shores and slowly inches closer to our islands of Ione. The Nation has conquered the entire world except for our small island. Many have questioned why only now came to Ione. Did they notice this small speck of green on a map and perceived us a threat? Did they see the value of our natural resources when they found theirs were running out? Did they conquer us as a matter of reputation? But these are questions I will never ask. I'd rather die than associate with them.

I flinched at the cool metal of the gun pressed against my head; maybe I will.

Despite their efforts for peaceful diplomatic relations, I knew it was only a facade. Irked by my stubbornness toward their advances, they continued their scheme without my consent. They aimed for our trade first, they put their money into the circulation of my country and made my people dependent on their goods; then they influenced our culture, through missionaries, schools, and technology; and now their sights are on our politics- my crown.

My eyes scoured the room, looking at these foreigners circling around me with weapons. The Nation's diplomatic officials, elite businessmen, and marines staged a coup and are forcing me to sign a constitution to transfer my power to them. But power no longer mattered in this room. We were all people of power in our own respect. Their only solace was that I was a woman, giving them that one advantage.

Even from their numerous attempts for any treaty agreements, they still undermined me because I was a woman. They preferred to speak to any male officials; they tried to bypass information in the belief I was unable to understand; and they belittled me in front of my face, not knowing I could understand their absurd language. They despised the fact that I held such power and they were forced to go down to my level in order to establish any association.

Will this be the end of my story, my legacy? Ailani, the last reigning monarch of Ione, witnesses the fall of her country. I was entrusted with these lands and I only allowed it to be taken away. I did everything in my power to stop them. But maybe that was it.

I was just too weak.

My eyes began to brim with tears, my vision became blurry and all I could see was water. I felt, I am powerless, and my country may as well flood from our seas or be consumed by their polluted wall than be conquered by the Nation.

But I realized that I no longer have to be pushed around by them no longer. At my darkest moment, in a position in which I have no place to turn to, I have no choice left but to fight against them. They have dared to defy me in my seas and my land. But it is the fact that they attempted to defy me. They had the chance to destroy us all the moment they set foot on my island. But they knew that I held this power that even they had to acknowledge. I still hold this power. I must strengthen it, learn to wield it properly with a stronger grip, with a better stance. And I will wait until the moment is right to strike.

All of my actions to stop and deter them was one wave crashing over them after the other. Now I'm brewing a storm that will make even their wall of darkness will be swept away.

This island's fate may be inevitable, but it is my duty to drown their hopes that they will be able to do this without a fight.



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