My One Last Hope

Chapter 1

Hi, my name is Elizabeth Taylor and I'm currently seventeen, eighteen in 47 days. I'm a normal person just like you. I breathe, eat, and poop just like you too. My friends and family consider me the out going person in their lives, the one who isn't afraid to speak her mind. Well, that's true I guess you can say. But the thing about me is I don't live a normal life. I don't go to school or let alone anywhere, I don't have a boyfriend, I don't like to be a big group of people (I just like sticking with my three best friends), and basically I spend most of my time in a hospital room or at home in my bedroom. If you are lucky enough, you could get me into the living room once a month.

The reason for all of this is that I was diagnosed with stage three leukemia when I was fourteen. Very lucky aren't I?

Now I know what you all are thinking, that my story similar to Hazel Grace's, Jamie Sullivan's or Kate Fitzgerald's. Well that's where you are wrong, I can tell you right now my story is nothing like theirs.

So yes like Kate from My Sister's Keeper, I have leukemia just like her. Don't ask me what type of leukemia I have, it makes me depressed... It's AML. That's right, most common kind of leukemia in adults. The thing is, I've tried four or five different treatments and none of the have worked. Nobody realizes that I know I'm going to die, they still try to keep it a secret. I mean, how stupid could I be? Usually when people ask me what I think my cure will be, I will laugh to myself, then I tell them "it's called death." Once I told that to my mother's co-worker in front of her and I thought she was going disown me, but she didn't and instead she told me to go sit in a corner.

Jamie Sullivan from A Walk To Remember has leukemia just like me too or I have it like she does, but unlike her I don't try to hide it or fight it. Everyone knows that I have it and how I feel about it.

Like Hazel from The Fault In Our Stars, my cancer is terminal. But unlike her, I don't go to support groups and fall in love with The Augustus Waters. Even though life would be better with him as having someone to love, it never happened nor will it ever happen. Hell, if my parents would ever try to get me into support group again I would throw a tantrum like last time.

Ever since I've been fourteen, I've been put under many treatment attempts which lead to all of them failing miserably, making me sicker each time. Right now, my mother has me starting radiation... again. Since I am eighteen minus 47 days, she still believes I do not have in a say in what treatment I go through. I know why she's doing it though, she has that small part of her that is sure that I'm going to survive through this and she know if it was my decision that I would pull myself out of it, letting myself die quicker.

It's hard though, my mother and father have never really been there for me. I mean they physically have been there for me, but not emotionally. Yeah, it's difficult to understand that they are there but they really aren't. Like they go to all of my freaking doctors appointments but they aren't the caring parents I wish I had.

The only person who actually has been there for me is my older brother who is currently nineteen and I'm relieved he still lives in the same house hold as me or I would be in a mental hospital on top of everything. He is like my therapist. Actually technically, he is in a way. In agreement with my wonderful parents so I don't have to go to a certified therapist, twice a week I have to talk to my brother about my feelings then he reports everything back to him. The funny part is that they are stupid enough to believe in what my brother tells them, whatever I tell him is confidential and he has never spoke another word about our subjects. I'm thankful about it, mostly because we always end up talking about death and that would not fly with my mother.

So my brother's name is Tristan and her just finished school and joined the army. He was over in a another country four one tour and is now back until they call him. That's another problem with my parents and I, school.