Through Fire and Water (A Legolas Love Story)

Tired and Confused

 I creep back into the clearing where the fellowship are sleeping, hoping not to wake anyone.

“Good morning” a voice says and I turn to see Legolas sitting with his back to a tree.

“Good morning”

“What are you doing out and about so early?” He asks.

“I couldn’t sleep so I went for a walk”

“Was it pleasant?”

“Yes, very”

I start to head back towards my bed which just happens to take me past the tree where Legolas is sitting.

“Ana, have you been crying?” He asks quietly, but the question is pointless because my face is obviously tearstained and my eyes are still slightly wet.

“Yes” I say quietly.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks in the same quiet, gentle voice.

“Yes… No… I don’t know” I say, slumping down on the ground next to him.

“Why don’t you take a moment to work out which of those answers you’re going with?”

We are quiet for a moment and the only sound is Gimli’s snoring. After a minute I sigh and shuffle around so that I am leaning against the tree. I take my locket from around my neck and hold it out. “When I was walking I bumped into Lady Galadriel and her mirror. The mirror showed me my parents, it showed me their story. I always wanted to know who they were but now that I do it has just left me feeling more lost and confused than I have ever done before. Everything I knew about my life has been shaken up and now I don’t know what to do. Before tonight they were just my parents, faceless voices in a dream of a memory that I wished I knew. But now they have faces and names and a story and I don’t know what to think. What do I do about Aragorn? The man I have called my father all my life. Now that I have a different father what happens to him? I can’t look at him without thinking that he isn’t really my dad. I love him so much. He is the reason I am who I am today. But I still can’t help feeling like calling him dad is a lie now” I say all this without thinking. I barely even take a breath in case I can't start talking again. I don’t know why I am telling Legolas this, I never usually open myself up to anyone and yet I have done so to Legolas twice now. He says nothing for a moment, taking in what I’ve said.

“I think you need to take a deep breath, calm down a bit and take a good long look at yourself. Think about what you just said. I know this must be so confusing for you, I can barely even begin to imagine how you are feeling and I am not going to tell you I understand because I know I can’t and saying that I can will only make things worse. But no matter what is going on in your mind right now I know that you love Aragorn. He raised you and you look up to him. Calling him dad isn’t a lie, it’s the truth, it isn’t betraying your parents; you needed someone to raise you after they died and that was Aragorn. He made you the wonderful person you are today and I am sure your parents would be proud of you. It doesn’t matter if you are related by blood or not, he means the world to you and in the morning you’ll remember it, I promise”

“Thank you” I say, feeling the tears pricking my eyes again. I haven’t seen this side of Legolas before. He is usually so typically elvish, cool and detached and dignified and never saying too much, but now he is being so sweet and I don’t think I have ever heard him say so much at one time before.

 I realise that I am still holding my locket so I flick it open, revealing the portraits “Lady Galadriel gave me this” I say, my voice shaking slightly.

“May I take a look” Legolas asks and I nod, carefully putting the locket into his hand.

“They’re my parents” I say as he looks at them “Hannor, my father” I point to his portrait “And Lhinnil, my mother”

“She’s very beautiful” Legolas says “I can see where you get it from”

“Are you flirting with me?” I ask. Legolas stays quiet “I just found out the identities of my dead parents. I am extremely confused because everything in my life has just been turned on its head, and you’re flirting with me”

“Sorry, it wasn’t very sensitive of me was it?”

“No, it wasn’t… But actually, I kind of liked it”

“You did?”

“Yeah. But then I am pretty tired and confused, maybe I’ll get annoyed at you in the morning”

“Well if that’s the case then I better make tonight last”

“Oh? And how would you intend on doing that?”

“Well, you’re upset and confused. How about I try to cheer you up a bit?”

“I would like that”

“You know, the first time I met you I was confused. When I saw you at the council I stopped listening to everyone else and I just looked at you, I thought that you were one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen” Legolas says, making me smile and blush uncontrollably. “But then I actually found out what you were like and I was put off a bit. I thought you were immature, impulsive, reckless, undignified and, well basically, un-elf-like in every way but appearance”

“If you’re trying to cheer me up this is a strange way of going about it”

“Shhhh, I’m not done. But then I got to know you a bit better. And I realised that my first impressions of you were exactly right, but that wasn’t a bad thing. Those traits make you the wonderful person that you are. You are in fact playful and cheery and funny. You are an extremely skilled warrior and I would be glad to have you watching my back in a fight. You are also a caring daughter and a good friend”

“Thank you” I say but it doesn’t seem to be enough somehow.  He puts his arm around my shoulders.

“You have plenty of people who care about you Ariana, do not carry the weight of the dead” he places the locket back into my hand and closes my fingers over it. I lean my head on his shoulder, he smells good, like forest and clean fabric. Only now do I realise how tired I am and even though I am sitting on the floor and leaning on Legolas’ shoulder I find myself drifting off. If I wasn’t this tired and it wasn’t stupidly early and I hadn’t had a rather confusing night then I would probably find this extremely awkward. But it is far too early to be thinking about how awkward this could be and right now I guess I am just feeling lost and confused and Legolas’ arm around me makes me feel safe and wanted. I shake my head to stay awake but Legolas just says “It’s ok, go to sleep” and I am far too tired and far too comfortable to argue. I close my eyes and soon find myself drifting off, my hand still curled around the locket and Legolas still holding me, making me feel safe.