||her||
I have never felt more out of place in my entire existence of personhood, than right now , in this moment, at this godforsaken party.
the music is loud, the people are drunk and smell awful and adam looks happier than I have ever seen him. I ache for the comfort of my room, the rush of party excitement completely out of my system I watch in forlorn silence as adam has more fun in his world than he ever will in my world.
and it's then, as I watch him laugh and smile more than he ever has at my jokes when I realize how absurbdly ill-matched we are.
"something wrong?" he asks, his arm draped on my shoulders, "you've been quiet all night."
"no," I smile, "it's fine. I'm just going to get some air."
adam nods, a glimmer of relief in his eyes that his stick in the mud girlfriend won't ruin his evening.
the night air is surprising cold, which is a nice change from the stuffy fraternity. in fact, it would be a lovely evening if not for the loud music emitting from inside.
people sit in a circle passing around a joint and a few drunk stragglers wander around aimlessly, their identities hidden in the darkness. sitting alone, someone leans against a fence, taking long drags from a cigarette which glows in the darkness.
he looks familiar and out of a deadly mix of boredom and curiosity I approach him, it's not until I'm a foot away that the little light coming from the butt of the cigarette illuminates his face enough for me to recognize him.
"hi, syd."
