Just something random I should say because I know the person it is directed to doesn't read any of my shit.
This isn't a rant, I should say. I'm done with ranting about things in life that are obviously my own fault and I just have to accept I'm not a pleasant person.
Let me just tell you, I'm not mad at your decisions on not speaking with me. I was at first (I'll admit to that, because ouch bro) but I was mature about it and quit asking what was so wrong when the answer was obvious. You weren't happy with me. And I'm not upset, or depressed with your decision.
The only thing I wanted from you was for you to be happy with your decisions. To make yourself better. And you did that. And, honestly, I couldn't be more proud. You made the decision to walk away—even with the so called "strong" feelings you had.
And I really just don't care what you do with life. That's your choice, not mine.
I'm not expecting pity from anyone. No one that reads this will fully understand the way I feel about the past experience we've had.
I'm not the "victim" in this. I'm the bad guy. Hell, I verbally abused you. It was surprising you stayed as long as you did.
Not like I hadn't warned you either, though.
(I'm actually being serious. I told them straight up that I was a heartless bitch and they didn't believe me—)
You're a semi mature person yourself. You probably don't really care about me anymore. To which I believe that. I never did deserve you—no matter how much you would ignore me—you were too... I don't know "caring"? I wouldn't say that but...eh.
And you're right. I was clingy. I'm sorry I actually gave a shit about you unlike most people.
Oh! One more thing! I told you, love, that I had never EVER been in a serious relationship just as our's was. For one—I did not know how to react to the fact that you would ignore me to speak with other girls—even just in a friendly manner. And then dump me for not being chill.
Hm, yeah, excuse me for having feelings.
I'm getting off topic—I apologize.
Im not saying I regretted our relationship—because I don't. (I don't regret any relationship I've ever been in. They were my own decisions, so if I was hurt—it was my fault.)
Not saying I love you anymore either. Because I don't. But I do care about you and your well being.
Take care of yourself, kiddo. That's all I'm saying. Stay in school, don't do drugs, get eight hours of sleep, etc etc etc.
Sincerely, Meh.
