ride or die | s.o.a. fanfiction

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RIDE OR DIE
"I WAS BROKEN AT A YOUNG AGE"

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CARMEN'S P.O.V

Clay and I were in one of the back rooms right now, it smelt of alcohol, drugs, and sex. The both of us sat at the edge of the bed, a good foot between us. Everyone had left and headed back to the clubhouse after it became obvious I had to discuss something serious, and alone with the President of the Sons. Now here we were, the papers that had his name on them, sat in the space between us. I just told Clay Morrow he is my father. Then I had to tell him my mother is also dead. Awkwardly, I stared down at my lap and fiddled with my hands, I looked over to see Clay doing the same as he absentmindedly looked at the ground below his feet.

"I guess that's where I get it from." I spoke up, my voice coming out ever so quiet.

"Huh?" He inquired, looking at me confused and maybe a little sad.

I slowly looked down to my hands, which he followed, just nodding in return before staring aimlessly back at the ground. This is what I was afraid of, rejection. If there is one thing I've learned in this life, it's to expect the worst though...

I sighed, "It was nice meeting you." I said, rubbing my hands on my thighs before moving to get up.

I was stopped by a hand on my knee, I looked to see Clay who averted his gaze from the ground, to my eyes. He looked at me with such pain and pity.

"Im sorry about your mother." He started. "I didn't know her, she must have been a drunken hookup while I was on the road, or..." He trailed off.

"I wasn't expecting much else." I spoke up. He looked up to me, sadness in his blue eyes. I managed to give him a slight smile before taking a deep breath and gazing at the wall in front of us.

From my peripheral vision, I saw his face fall in his hands. He rubbed them up and down his face before resting his forehead against his fingertips. I now watched him, but to no surprise his face didn't hold any strong emotion. He rubbed his hand across the hair on his chin before turning to me.

He grinned, "You know, I always wanted a daughter..." He said, making eye contact with me.

I smiled and felt hot tears beginning to prick at my eyes.

I laughed as I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I sniffled and quickly wiped it away, not wanting to get too emotional. He smiled sadly and nodded for me to come closer. I moved the papers and closed the space between us on the bed, he was quick to put an arm around my shoulder and lean his head on top of mine. As my cheek rested on the leather of his cut, I found comfort in the moment. I didn't expect this physical contact or the reaction I was getting...but I was thankful for it. It was a nice surprise to get a good response when I had been expecting the worst.

"If I knew," He mumbled into my hair. Which I, in return, looked up at him, making eye contact. "You wouldn't be here. Doing this..." He gestured, looking around the room. I looked around the room as well...Maybe he was right, maybe if I hadn't grown up with my mother, I wouldn't feel the need to make the extra and easy cash in a strip club. Maybe I would have been brought up with a family, going out for ice cream on Sundays or having nice family dinners. I sighed and nodded.

"Maybe." I said before leaning my head back on his shoulder.

"It's getting late, I should head back to the clubhouse." He said while getting up.

"Yeah, I-uh won't be there but tell Jax I said bye."

He furrowed his brows sadly before he gave me a light smile, then heading to the door. I watched him walk away before turning to me one last time.

"I want you to know, that-uh...you'll always have a home in Charming." I smiled and nodded my head. He gave one last nod and smile before walking out the door, closing it behind him.

Shortly after I left the room too, I cleaned up and headed home. I arrived there around 3 a.m. instantly curling up in the sheets on my bed, falling asleep shortly.