Miles to Go (ON HOLD)

7. Sideways

Sang

Victor and Gabe left soon after that, promising that they'd see me tomorrow. I didn't miss the looks that they'd all exchanged, but I was too emotionally exhausted to really think about it now. When they'd left I asked North if his Uncle needed help with anything, which was why I was now at a back table in the kitchen, laminating menus with the small machine they had. North had said it was because he didn't trust Luke not to get bubbles in the pages, but I was pretty sure it was so that he could keep an eye on me.

"How many more?" I asked, waiting for another page to slip through. The menu itself wasn't long, but considering how many pages were needed for each menu it would take more than one afternoon with this machine.

"A lot," North called from where he was stocking things in the back freezer. "Uncle said we've gotta think big."

"Has he thought about hiring a professional?" It wasn't that I minded the work, I was just worried I might screw it up somehow.

North stuck his head out of the doorway and smirked. "We are professionals, baby."

I rolled my eyes at him teasingly and he laughed. I gently removed the finished page, adding it to the pile before setting up another one. I wasn't sure what Luke was up to, but North didn't seem too worried. I set up another page to go through the laminator and wondered when I'd get another chance to talk to Victor alone. I kept thinking about how the shopping trip had been cut short, how he'd ended up empty-handed. Some shopping buddy I turned out to be.

I shook my thoughts away as I watched the machine do its job, thinking this would be better with music. "Hey North?"

"Yeah?" he called. I heard a thunk and wondered just how much frozen food he was moving by himself.

"Can we play some music?"

He chuckled, stepping out of the freezer. "You want some tunes?" He was wearing his signature black t-shirt and jeans, but the usually imposing effect was lessened by the ivory apron wrapped around his waist.

I nodded. "Do you have anything on your phone?"

I knew Gabe did, since he'd said shopping was more fun with a soundtrack and as a result Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" had been stuck in my head since Victor and him had picked me up. North grinned, digging in his back pocket for his phone and pulling up the music app. He slid it over to me before grabbing another large box. "I approve of everything on that playlist," he said over his shoulder.

I scanned through it, smiling. Of course. It was a collection of hard rock. Some Metallica, Korn, a couple Black Sabbath songs. I didn't really know the music so I picked one at random, some band called Highly Suspect. The beat was good, and I liked the guitar riffs, quickly learning the lyrics as I worked.

"You like it?" I looked up to find North in the freezer doorway again, watching me with an amused expression on his face.

"It's good. This song's a little sad though," I admitted.

"Sad?" he asked, closing the space between us.

I paused, letting the lyrics of the song fill the room. "As much as he loves her, he's afraid he's destroying her," I murmured, looking up from the table. "It's a good song, though," I added.

North was nodding, listening to the lyrics again, his dark eyes intense as they regarded me. I thought he wanted to say something, but he didn't, instead reaching for his phone. "I think Gabe put some newer pop stuff on here, if you—"

"North." I placed my hand on his, gently taking back his phone. "I want to listen to what you like. Sadness is just as much a part of the human experience as anything else." And I'd certainly known more about the former before the Lees. Before them.

"But I don't want you to be sad, baby," he said sincerely, and I felt his palm slowly turn into mine so that he was now holding my hand.

I smiled, squeezing his hand slightly. "I'm not. I'm here with you." And it was as close to the truth as I could admit to him, admit to myself right now. I was happy with any of them, all of them. I couldn't imagine not being around them after only a couple of weeks, and that thought scared me more than any other.

North's phone rang in my hand, interrupting the next song. It was Silas. "Can I?" I asked, and he nodded. "Hello?"

"Aggele?"

"Hi Silas," I said, and I caught North's eyes, a warmth in them I hadn't seen before showing through. I shot him a thumbs up as I continued, "What's up?" North chuckled as he wandered out of the room.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine," I replied. "Please don't worry, ok?"

"I'll always worry, aggele," he said softly. There was a beat of silence, Silas's breathing filling my ear. I extracted another laminated page as I made eye contact with North, who was now carrying a bunch of cardboard as he headed for the back door. "I miss you," Silas finally whispered, his smooth, accented voice like warm molasses. I stopped watching North and focused on Silas's words. It was as if he was saying the exact same things I felt, since I was achingly aware of his absence, of all of theirs.

"I miss you too," I said just as softly, smiling. "I'll see you tomorrow though, right?"

"Yes," he said, his low voice rumbling through me. "But we've got practice after school."

"Are you free right now?" I asked before I lost my nerve. "I'm at the diner. You can help me laminate menus. Or watch?" I bit my lip. "I'm really not selling it very well, am I?"

His laugh slid over me like a caress, and a tingle shot through me, giving me an excited buzz low in my stomach. I pressed a hand there, trying to calm my nerves. "I would love to, but—" I heard a noise in the background, what sounded like someone shouting. He sighed. "I've got to go, I'm sorry. Tell North to call me later, ok?"

"Ok."

"Bye aggele mou," he said softly before hanging up.

The sideways feelings were undeniable now, and I wasn't sure what it meant to feel the way I did for Kota and so many of his friends, let alone how I would make sense of it on my own. I thought again about talking to Erica, and wondered if maybe I could ask for advice without giving away too many details. It was worth a try.

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A/N: The song Sang and North are talking about is "Lydia" by Highly Suspect.