starpeople

23- Break

I awoke to the easy sound of space travel, a nice kind of whirring that always eased my worries. James was sitting in the seat behind me, totally asleep and snoring quietly. We'd been flying for so many hours I'd lost count. 

To my left there was Fox, gazing into the galaxy with a slight smile on his lips. Somehow I kept ending up alone with him. Well, kind of. I didn't want to ruin the guy's life or anything, what if falling in love with someone would kill him? Also, I was worried about James. We'd spent so long on Exion together that I'd started thinking of him as a dear friend... and nothing more. What if he wanted something I couldn't give him?

Fox realized that I was awake and looked over to me, his eyes going all copper again. Why did they do that whenever looking at me? I can't ruin his life. 

"How are you doing?" he asked with a smile. The light in the cabin was dim, probably so that Fox could see better. The ship was in autopilot, I didn't understand why he was still awake. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. How are you still awake?"

"I'm just not tired I guess," he shrugged. I didn't know if he was telling the truth or not but I just moved on. He shifted slightly towards me, close because the seats were attached like benches. Our legs touched slightly, damn me for noticing. 

"If you're worried about the ship crashing I can watch it for awhile while you sleep," I said. The controls were so familiar even though I hadn't touched anything like them in forever. 

"No it's ok, I'd rather stay awake with you." 

I nodded, feeling the same way. There was something about Fox.

"Tell me about your planet then."

Fox smiled, revealing perfect white teeth, "It's beautiful in ways that I can only describe. You'll never see all of it, and that's where human eyes betray their owners. You'll go there and only see darkness, while I see beautiful frost covered trees and frozen lakes that sparkle ever so slightly when one of our three moons passes overhead. 

"It's filled with Stargazers, most of whom speak English very well. Humans tried to populate it once, over a thousand years back, but they gave up because they constantly had to wear bulky night vision goggles. Isn't that sad? It was called 'Night of America' then, these American folks introduced English and the written word. It was quite useful really, most Stargazers learned it because we didn't have a written word. Some still speak Tonian, but it's rare."

"So your people like humans then?"

"For the most part yes. There are much fewer Stargazers alive than humans, and we were entirely oblivious to space travel and many technologies before humans arrived. They never tried to colonize our planet too hard, which many are happy with. There are always those few who think humans forced their culture upon us."

"You're right about one thing, I've never met a Stargazer before."

"Well now you have. We're really almost humans, our anatomy the same but for the eyes. It's the way that we find partners that's so odd to you."

"I guess so, not all humans stay with the same person forever."

"I'll tell you a story of humans and stargazers if you want to listen." Fox ran a hand through his curly black hair, his eyes going dark again as he remembered whatever story he wished to tell. He yawned, so he was tired after all. 

"Okay, but you have to promise me you'll sleep afterwards." He nodded, smiling again with those perfect teeth.

"There was a woman from Earth named Aliza, her skin was tan and smooth and her hair was even darker. She arrived one day just more than twenty years ago, and didn't leave. A stargazer named Rowan had captured her heart. The two were together for life, and they had a son and named him after Aliza's most favorite animal from Earth. Their life was full of love and supported by the entire community. Until one day, when Aliza had to return to Earth to speak with a beloved family member who was dying. 

"Aliza left, and she never came back. No one knew why, and her husband and son never discovered what had happened. Eventually Rowan became ill and died, leaving their son in the arms of the community. The stargazers raised him, as they did when a child's parents died. And when a stargazer is heartbroken so badly, they can die."

Fox was staring out into space again, his words ringing through the cabin even though he'd been speaking quietly. It was terrifying, and it was his life's story. 

"You're their son, Fox, you're half-human." It explained why he wasn't extreamly pale like many stargazers must have been. 

"Of course. A true stargazer would be blinded by daylight as strong as I've seen. A true stargazer wouldn't even be able to use sunglasses to hide a sun's glare."

"Your parents are dead?"

"One of them is for sure."

"I'm sorry." 

He turned towards me, eyes softening. "It's okay."

"My parents are dead too," I shook my head. What a commun thing it had become to lose family. Everyone knew someone who'd died young. Modern healthcare seemed to be a luxury only the richest people could afford, and even then there were ship crashes and alien attacks all the time.

"For that, I am sorry too."

"Yep, it's alright." I liked how he didn't ask what it was that had killed my parents.

Fox yawned again leaning his head on my shoulder and closing his eyes. "I'm not falling asleep," he smiled, but I could tell that he would. His shoulders were relaxed and he was warm.

"It's okay if you do, I'll wake you up if there's some sort of disaster."

He laughed, "I hope you won't have to."

Fox fell asleep within minutes and I was left to stare at the dots of light whizzing past as we flew faster than the speed of light through space. James was snoring, Fox was quietly breathing. It was odd to me that both of them had been strangers to me once.

An hour passed before James awoke, looking first at me and then at Fox asleep on my shoulder. "That was fast," he breathed.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. You don't even know this guy, he could be using us." 

"He's not, trust me."

"Why should I trust you? I thought I knew you, I thought we had something," he looked out the window and shook his head slightly. There it was, the moment I'd been dreading all along. 

"James, you're my closest frien-"

"Don't say it, don't be like that."

"Like what? I'm not going to lie to you or lead you on! I don't feel that way, I don't know what to do!"

"Did you ever feel that way?" His eyes were almost pleading, I didn't know what he wanted from me, why was he doing this to himself?

"Maybe I did once, when we were on Exion."

"When I was the only person available?"

"No! I didn't mean it like that!"

"Yeah, I'm sure," he seemed like he was ready to stomp away, but unfortunately we were in space and the tension in the air was unavoidable.

Instead, James closed his eyes. It was another two hours until I heard snoring again. 

"Ouch," Fox whispered as soon as the snoring started.

"You heard?"

"Yeah, sorry I did."

"Well now you know... but I don't want to kill you or anything."

He laughed, "It doesn't work like that."

Fox sat up and looked out at the endless space that surounded us.

"Sleep now, I can watch the abyss."

I leaned into his shoulder and fell asleep easily. I hadn't realized how exhausted I even was.