OneShot, TwoShot, Three-Sword-Style

Shouldnt have Smiled

(A/N: Prepare your beef and noodles , readers.)

It was no secret on the vessel.

The Pirate Hunter.

The Demon of the East Blue.

Monstrous First Mate of the Strawhat Pirates.

It appears that Roronoa Zoro was in the brig of A marine ship. Vice Admiral Random's unit. (A/N: yes, that IS his name, and I totally made him up on the spot)

Rattling his chains for no other reason than the fact he felt like it, the swordsman scowled at the marines present before him. His eyes shadowed and his expression in his ever present scowl. As far as the Marines know, Roronoa Zoro's smile was rare, and if a marine ever saw it, it meant a killing spree. Or a maiming spree. Whichever is canon.

And when he did, something big usually happens.

"We should secure him more. More chains." His second in command, Captain Beef N. Oodles muttered.

Random scoffed, cigars grit between his teeth. "He's not going to escape." He stated firmly. Honestly, the mans' locked behind seastone-infused titanium bars and cuffs of the same material. He pointed this out to his men, who still refused to go near the cell.

And for some reason, that only frightened them even more. A tick mark grew on the vice Admiral's forehead.

"Argh...you two. What are your names?"

"Petty officer Ichibaka, Sir!"

"Petty officer Nibaka, sir!"

"...you two idiots watch over Roronoa."

The two marines glanced at Zoro watching them, amusement in his eyes but his mouth and jaw locked firm and neutral, and gulped. "Sure...whatever you say boss."

And the two marines stayed rigid as the rest of the troupe began to leave. They were sweating bullets as they watched him, damn near passing out. They tried to put up some bravado, forcing what Zoro assumed was an attempt at a strict scowl, and he couldn't help it...

"HOLY SHT HE SMILED!" Both Ichibaka and Nibaka all but shrieked, calling all the marines in the room to a halt.

And he deeply regretted doing so, as it was a miracle his eardrums stayed intact. Once his ears stopped ringing (he swears that these two must be related to that Soprano guy in Dressrosa. Pica, was it?) Zoro looked up with a grimace as the room outside his cell was filled with marines once more. He blinked. What the hell...

Captain Beef N. Oodles must have known something secret about smiles, because he whirled around in shock. "WHAT?!"

He stormed up to Zoro, who was honestly confused at this point.

"...?"

The two were locked in a staring contest. Oodles growled.

"Did you smile?"

Zoro scowled at the older man, but was still more lost than anything. And if they were here, none of his nakama would blame him for it.

"Uh...no..?" He replied uncertainly. Unfortunately, this didn't receive the reaction he wanted, and Nibaka spoke up.

"OH MY GOD HE SMILED AND NOW HE'S LYING ABOUT IT!!"

The-Captain-who-I-totally-wasn't-hungry-when-I-named-and-if-I-was-I-totally-wasn't-craving-instant-beef-noodles named Captain Beef N. oodles paled rather noticeably. "YOU SMI--WHY DID YOU SMILE?!?!"