PaRappa's Hat Ties

Twisted Ted

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Starting... ERROR #1987 FIRE BREATH unresponsive. Proceed anyway?

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Family Friends™...Twisted Ted™

John opened his heavy eyes. He was so cold. His body ached. He took a breath and the air seemed to go right through him. A thought was shoved into his brain.

ERROR #1987... FIRE BREATH unresponsive...

He tried to move. Pistons pushed air into one of his joints that made it wheeze and groan as metal rubbed against metal. He was so heavy and tired. He looked around. It seemed to be very dark in the place he was in, but his eyes were like flashlights.

Giant beams of yellow light passed across the floor. He seemed to be in a very small box-like room. He turned his head to the ceiling that was very close to his face. John touched it with two claws that were the closest to his head. Moving more he discovered he was a lot like a centipede. He was all around the walls of the small room.

A small entryway opened up letting light in. A small floating cube with two floating gloved hands came in through the opened space. It took out a tiny laptop out of a toaster-like slot in its cube body. The laptop floated right in front of it as it typed with one hand and held the computer in place with the other.

"Twisted Ted is online," She said rather unenthusiastic way. She flew down to his face and put a flash drive into his neck. The flash drive turned red and the cube looked at it and sighed. "Ugh Ted can't breathe fire boss," She said while typing. A ball of pitch black smoke entered the small entryway.

"What? I'll send Bart to go fix him," He said. They both then exited the room and the small door slid shut.

John had tried his best to talk to them, but it didn't seem that he could even speak. Another door opened, but this one was person sized, and at the floor. In walked a anthro horse robot. He had fur and skin from his head down to the top half of his torso. The rest of him was a skeleton made of metal. He looked like a zombie with his jaw broken and his eyes bulging out of his head.

That was when John realized that the room was actually very big. He was the size of a school bus, but just as long as 4. The horse robot walked over to him.

"Seems you're new, and already broken. It's ok, I was scared too. You can talk to me about it if you want. I'm not here to hurt you. You can't even feel pain in this state. I've felt pain. Master's made me that way. Mess up, you get the button of pain," Bart said while wiping down a dirty spot on John. When he spoke his mouth did not move, yet his eyes moved dramatically well. He was illuminated by Johns giant eyebeams like stage lights. Bart got out a wire, "Come here," He said beckoning with a finger. John put his head down and let Bart plug the wire into his neck. Bart put the other end of the wire in his own neck, "Speak," He commanded.

"How did I get here?! What's going on?!" John shouted silently.

"The boss has stolen your soul as a power source for one of his machines. You are dead, but lucky. You got much more of a life than most of us. You were killed by werewolves. I was killed by an "F". My most important test, I failed. Now I'm here. This is where my soul lives," Bart pointed to a circle an inch thick placed inside his chest.

"Can I get out of here?" John asked.

"Heh, you can try. I never have. The more you try to get out the more of yourself you lose. You know those codes that pop up in your thoughts? They can tell you to do stuff without your consent. If you don't want to listen to what the boss says, they'll make you listen. Some real escapists are just code now. They just do what the boss says and nothing else. I'm no escapist, i'm just the nice guy,"

"Why is this happening?" John was really starting to hope this was a dream.

"Because one man decided that money was more important than a person's life," Bart said. John could feel the crippling irony start to settle in, "Let's get you fixed up,"

(If you want to see something similar to Twisted Ted to get a feel of it look up "Rayman Legends- 20,000 Lums Under the Sea - boss battle" I accidentally created Twisted Ted being too similar to that boss, although they aren't exactly alike. Twisted Ted does not float, and he breathes fire, not lazers.)