You can live your dream.

when I do mistakes.

I have a story to tell you guys.
I dream to be the winner in bodybuilding contest in order to earn money.
I started diet on 1 March 2017
My first competition was on 26 March. I didin't get any reward because yeah there were many compititors who trained for months and years better than me. But I didn't feel that I was a loser. I knew what the position I was at that time. Afterwards, I used my mindset to find some gym and someone who could train me for free because I didn't have any money these days. And I got. I spent time since 27 March until 13 April training with him. He is a good one who allows me to train and tells me how should I do about each workout. He only allows me to eat chicken and a cup of rice in the morning. I was starving, I felt like I was not stronger. I lost my weight 8 kgs within 2 weeks. I did fitness 2 times a day, I did cardio 3-4 times a day and he wanted me to do more workout in order to get shreded and lose fat. I kept thinking every single day that I needed to be pateint, this might be hard but I needed to reach my goal finally. I called mom and I cried because I couldn't eat anything. It would be fine if I started diet sooner but I started later, so I need to be more patient than others.
But I'm gonna tell that I couldn't be pateint until the competition day. I ate a lot on the day 13 at night. And I talked to my best friend. She reminded me to do other things instead of doing fitness much like this and get nothing unless a weaker body and have no money. I should focus on my goal to study at uk in thus August. I need to afford money to survive and do IOM before doing visa. I completely forgot my goal. I spent time 12 hours at gym everyday. I went to the gym at 8 or 10 a.m. until 10-11 p.m. at night. I got up early and do cardio, and then I do again after lunch and do fitness at 2 p.m. and do cardio. And then I rest 2 hours, and do fitness again. And then I do cardio again. On 13 April, I felt painful throughout my body. I felt I couldn't do fitness, I did it too much really. After that day it made me don't wanna do fitness for a while. I get sick, I get itch because of sweat. I don't wanna workout like this anymore.
I know I did some mistakes these days, I just wanna tell you guys to love yourself and to be happy in doing what you wanna do.
I may not want to be a bodybuilder in 2018 anymore but maybe if I have a good coach when I study at uk, I may wanna keep doing this.
However, a dream to be a nutrition assistant will still continue. I will find a sponsorship to make myself to study at uk in August finally. I will use my mindset to afford money and support my family as I dream. They will have a house, a better life. I will have a muscular bf in my life in 2017 as I set my goal.
Thank you for reading : )