Give Me That Body (Oneshots)

Nicky, 2005 - "I'll Kill Your Boy."

I lay beneath Dasius's desk, my legs up. He had not yet come home, but I knew where to look for a bit of comfort. He keeps letters for me in the closet in his office. He is always writing me letters, in place of a diary. I can keep track of him that way. I lay quietly reading, shuffling the paper. 

He writes as if he were still living, blotting the paper when he is upset, drying the ink by blowing upon it. It always irritated Laurent that Dasius could not adjust in the little things. I could have shared with Dasius more the whys and how-fors about L. Sometimes I tried to help Dasius more than others.  L was not trying to make him change. L was worried about what would happen if he couldn't. A pen, it's such a small thing, but some small things can be so crippling. L worried about Dasius constantly. I laid a letter over my face and closed my eyes. I had one of D's cloisonne pens between my fingers.

Stop it, stop. But the paper smelled like Laurent. How? Had he been here, looking for a piece of paper? How many years ago? 

"Hello," I heard. A little voice, not shy but cautious.

I lifted the letter off my face and turned my head so that I could see legs going by. What sort of a vampire wears shorts? Bare legs in house slippers. Mallo crouched at the mini-fridge by the far wall, beside the leather couch.

"How did you know I was here?"

"There's a pretty smell here," he said, busying himself, looking for something.

"Do you smell so well?"

"You've been with someone else who wears cologne," he said, honestly. "There isn't anyone here who smells like that, and I know that you are with a certain person sometimes."

"Of course."

Sometimes the young ones stun me. I like Mallo. He is a bad kid, but he is also a good kid. He is very smart and diligent, and respectful. Dasius's boy, raised from toddling age and a former lover of L's. Taken advantage of and molded into the perfect lover by L from the age of seven, for a love affair taken up at the age of sixteen. Young. Unfair, truly. How could a boy fight that sort of thing? I know something of what that's like. 

Honestly it would not be sporting to torment him. It would have been easy for him to grow up spoiled. But he didn't. I know that Mallo comforted L while he died. I know that D was furious to find it all out. Their relationship is not settled.

"Are you afraid of me?" I asked him, crawling out to see him..

"Oh yes," he said, back still to me. Blond hair neatly brushed, loosely waved.

"Maybe you know too many things."

"Here," he said.

God help me the boy knows I just want to be liked. He had a little bottle of quinine in his hand. 

"What do I want that for?" I asked.

He turned and sat down on the carpet, legs crossed. He looked at the bottle as if puzzled. He really looked like Dasius for a moment, with that thinking expression on his face. 

"I think you like this," he said.

"Don't ever say 'think'. You know I like it. What are you looking for?"

He was very careful not to touch me while I deprived him of his space in front of the refrigerator. Its air felt nice and cool against my face. He leaned back and back, strong in the stomach muscles. I shoved him over and his legs jerked to the side. 

"Are you just going to lie there?" I asked.

"I don't know. I was looking for a sterile needle."