Just Friends

Chapter Thirty Four

‘We can if we try’

Chapter Thirty Four

• • • • •

Three days before Christmas. Sigh.

I have celebrated an early Christmas with mum, Mike, and Kylie yesterday which ended up really great. We went ice skating, Christmas shopping too. The mall was crowded but we didn’t give a damn. We had some great family bonding.

Yesterday made me forget about all the problems I’ve been facing. And since the day I left, yesterday, I actually had a real smile plastered on my face. But almost instantly after that, today, all those unwanted thoughts about Harry came tumbling back.

Only three days before Christmas. I’ll be spending Christmas alone but I have already sent my gifts to the boys through Mike. Him and Kylie have been dropping by a few days ago and it’s sad that they couldn’t come today because of their flight to Alaska.

I’m already regretting not coming with my family to Alaska. It would’ve been fun. But instead, I had to be so self centered and think only about myself and my wants. I didn’t think of my mum, Mike, and Kylie. They all wanted me to come but being my stubborn self, I decided against.

But when my mother asked me a favor yesterday, I decided to do this for her. I had to think about it for almost the whole day before finally deciding. It didn’t actually come out as a favor. It sounded like a suggestion or maybe a request. She wanted me to go home for Christmas evening. She didn’t want me to spend Christmas alone.

And I have to admit, I, too didn’t want to spend the night alone watching the clock tick tock and pass by thinking that I could be having fun right now if it wasn’t for my constant want to protect myself from the inevitable.

My mom lectured to me about facing this maturely and that I shouldn’t be scared to get hurt. I had to fight over with Kylie with it too. She wanted me to fix things with Harry, saying that he’s not acting like how he should. He come home really late, new girl every night. Cliché heartbreak story we have there, right? Boy gets broken hearted, tries to forget about the girl by going out with different girls every night.

But there’s still a question that keeps on coming back when I think about Harry trying to forget about me. Isn’t this what you wanted? For him to forget about you and move on, isn’t that your wish?

Yes. But as the days pass, I realized I didn’t like the idea very much. Yes, you can move on. But you can’t erase them and forget they ever came in to your life. They’ll always be in your memories. May it be a good one, or a bad one, they’ll always be there.

I grabbed my keys and head out to my car.

I have already prepared myself for what I have to face today. If I see a blonde bimbo walking around the house with only her underwear, it’d be fine with me. Who am I kidding? I might slap the crap out of her.

I love Harry. I love him. I just hope it’s not too late to get back with him because all I’ve been having these past few days are regrets. Regrets of leaving and not telling him that I’ve loved him ever since the day we met each other. He day he gave me a flower that he picked from our neighbor’s garden when we were five. Since the day I had to face my father’s death.

I have loved him every single day. Even when he forgot about me when he went to The X Factor, I still loved him. I love him and I’m not going to let my ego and my fear let the only person I have ever loved this much slip away to some slag I know he doesn’t want.

I turned the radio on to temporarily calm my mind.

I hope everything turns out well. Because that’s the only thing I’ve been holding on too right now. Hope.

---

‹‹ Harry ››

I woke up with an unknown girl lying in my bed again. Am I really going to do this until Al forgives me?

Maybe. Because maybe this is the only way to get her back, to let her see that I’m not me without her. I can’t be myself when she’s not around. She knows me better than I know myself.

I don’t even know what happened between her and Zayn. Zayn’s being a crappy boyfriend right now. He didn’t even go away with Aly. Maybe they’ve broken up or something. I made a mental note to ask Zayn about that later.

I heaved myself off bed and got freshened up. When I went downstairs, something made my heart leap and I stood there looking like an idiot.

She’s here, in the living room, casually drinking her cup of tea while she flips over a magazine. When I was about to enter the scene and talk to her, Zayn entered the view. With him were fluffy blankets and a bowl of pop corn. I guess I was replaced as Aly’s partner for lazy afternoon movies.

I clenched my fists and my jaw tightens at the thought of my own best mate replacing me. Thoughts of revenge and beating the shit out of Zayn came in my mind. But then I saw her eyes. It calmed my tensed body and I sensed that she wasn’t that happy. She didn’t smile like she did before. How she smiled when she’s with me.

Her eyes didn’t sparkle much like they used to. And it’s my fault.

Without thinking twice, I rushed in the living room. Instantly regretting the decision when her eyes met mine—sad beautiful hazel eyes may I add. What have I done to my princess? I’ve turned the brave girl into a shattered vase.

“Aly, I-I missed you.” I unconsciously said.

Her eyes showed some sparks as she gave me a small smile and opened her mouth to say something “I mi—“ she was cut off by a female voice coming from behind me.

I mentally kicked myself in the balls for forgetting that I had a stranger in my room.

“Harry? I need to go. I had a great time last night.” She winked at me before rushing to the front door, leaving. She left us with a thick layer of awkwardness and tension in the air.

I turned my gaze back to Aly who was now staring at the ground.

You’re a real jerk Harry.

“Don’t think about her. Just some other girl.” I said. Damn! You should really think about your words first, Harry. You’re making a real ass of yourself.

“Just another girl.” She muttered, standing up and facing me.

“I missed you too Harry.” And with that, she walked away and went upstairs.

I’m a screw up.