𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞, 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 ✓

nineteen

BEING GAY IS... WITH KAYLANI FOSTER

I: kaylani, so nice to see you again! let's dive right in, shall we?

K: sure! *laughs*

I: so, you're a lesbian, right?

K: 100%, yeah.

I: cool! i'm personally bisexual. so, what's being gay to you?

K: it's happiness and pride. but it's also really hard.

I: how was it for you, coming out so young?

K: um, difficult. I didn't exactly have a good experience.

I: do you mind talking about it?

K: *laughs nervously* it's, uh, well, i've only told four people outside of my family. rowan [blanchard], chandler [riggs], lauren [cohan], and my therapist. But I suppose it couldn't hurt.

I: if it's uncomfortable, you really don't have to.

K: I want to. it's okay. *clears throat* so... my parents are really Catholic. like. the most Catholic. but once I moved out to california full time with derek, I thought it would be safe to tell them I'm gay. derek already knew. my parents didn't seem homophobic, so I figured it was alright. so I told them before I went back to LA after Christmas. And it... was hard.

I: kaylani, you don't have to-

K: it's fine, really. my dad took some time to warm up to the idea. at first, he was scared, because like I said, he's really Catholic. but after pope francis said that if someone loved Jesus then being gay didn't matter, he calmed down. dad has always been my biggest supporter, after all. mom didn't take it so well. she kicked me out, which is why i'm glad I had decided to move with derek at that point. we were sixteen, our aunt was looking over us, so my mom getting angry was the least of my worries. but it hurt. I remember it hurt. *clears throat* she told me I wasn't allowed to be gay. God would condemn me or something. I never believed it, but it hurt. it's almost been two years and I haven't come home for Christmas or Easter or thanksgiving because she doesn't want me there- she's said that. dad sends me my presents and we text a lot, but that's all I get. he's attended my premieres a few times. when I do come home to georgia, chandler's parents are sweet enough to take me in. i'm never actually alone. I have a good support system. and derek has been a rock, because he's a good brother. so. that's it. that's me. congrats.

I: I- wow. thank you, kaylani, for sharing that. any words to the people who may be reading this who are going through what you are or may soon?

K: it's not your fault. being gay is not your fault. ever. if your parents or guardians think so, they aren't right. being gay is a beautiful, wonderful thing. it's no cakewalk, but it's not impossible. you'll be happy. you may lose your family, and that hurts- it hurts so bad that I still see a therapist to help me control my thoughts- but it'll be for the best. you will find people who love you and nurture you. and if people use their religion or your religion to tell you otherwise, they're wrong. you're loved, you're wanted. if you need anything at all, dm me, tweet me, anything. if you need a place to stay, a shoulder to cry on, i'm here. no one should ever be left alone for something they can't control.

I: do you have anything you want to say to the poc lgbt+ community? any advice?

K: i- i'm not a person of colour. I don't know what they have to endure. all I can tell them is to keep their heads up and continue to be beautiful, but real advice? ask a real person of colour. i'm sure they'll have some good ideas.

I: okay. can you talk about your relationship with rowan blanchard? you two have gotten quite close over social media, haven't you?

K: I can talk about rowan all I want, but i'm not going to. we aren't a ploy get more readers or something for grown men to enjoy. we're young, and she's my best friend. and that's all I have to say.

--

I wanted to share Kaylani's story to show it isn't all sunshine. We can't all be the Troye Sivans and Connor Frantas. Being gay is hard, but it's a good life. If you guys need anything, dm me. I'm here to listen.

- xo, ken