Games You Shouldn't Play

The Choice Game

I have a weird story to share.

It's not really a normal story, more like one of those campfire horror tales that you tell to scare your friends. You could call it a ritual, I guess. The name of it is "The choice game". Anyone can perform it, literally anyone, but only if you have access to a portable phone of any kind.

But I'm getting off-track here, you probably want to hear about this ritual. What you'll need is: A cellphone, a piece of paper, an item of food, an animal, a local woods. You can go back any time, unlike all those other stories. I mean, seriously "oooh nooo! You can't go back now!!!" sounds like absolute shit. That's what makes this so interesting. By the way, if you like animals, I recommend you don't read this story, never mind perform the ritual. If your little doggy is that dear to you, which it probably is, don't do this. Please.

To start off, get your cellphone. You have to dial a specific number. Now, you can only do this in specific countries. So if a number from your country doesn't appear, count yourself lucky.

For the UK, call: 01872 844111

For the US, call: 1-719-597-7000

For Italy, call: 39-06-5880516

For Norway, call: 21-09-04-80

Once you've connected, you must say a certain phrase. The one in this example is English, but translations can work interchangeably. That's right, the number doesn't care if you speak Swahili into it, just use the translation and it will work. When it connects, say this phrase, "If you kindly allow me, let me pass freely." That's all you need to say. Nothing else. Afterwards, you'll hear noise in the background and the number will disconnect. That's when you know you did it right.

Otherwise, you did it wrong or called your local pizza place, idiot. So let's say you did it right. Good work. Pat yourself on the back. Put down the phone and write some words onto the piece of paper, it can be anything. String off obscenities or make a manuscript for your My Little Pony pornography, it's your choice. It'll work. Put the paper elsewhere and then go fetch your item of food. Place the food in the middle of the paper and scrunch the paper around the food. With that done, fetch an animal, or your pet if you're that depraved.

Like, you could do it with a pigeon, that easy, man. Then trek into the woods, with the paper-food and animal in tow. Inside the woods will be a small shack, you might have never noticed it before. You have now. Walk into the shack and knock on the wall four times. Knock-Knock-Knock-Knock, just like that. A person will walk into the shack and greet you nicely. Really politely. Greet them back and they'll strike up a conversation, which you must go along with.

At some point in the conversation, they'll bring up the paper in your hand, and say it looks kind of weird. They'll ask if they can eat it, since they knew what item you put in it. Give it to them and they'll just bite through the thing like a marshmallow. Choose not to and they'll continue the conversation. If you went through with the paper thing, which might be weirding you out at this point, they keep talking and then bring up the animal. They'll ask to look at it, and inspect it.

Give it them, and they'll open its mouth and look inside. Now, here's the part which animal lovers will probably cry over, like, full on blubbering. This weird person will open its mouth further, until its jaw breaks. Let them go on and they'll just plain tear half their head off. If you refuse and, let's be honest here, who wouldn't, the person will get angry and leave the shack. You'll then be free to leave as well and you and your animal can bury the memories of that day in the ground.

But, if you went through with those two things, they'll hand you the animal and tell you to look closely at it. When you do, you'll be captivated by it for one reason or another. Some people say they saw new colours, others may see beautiful ladies, some might even see dead relatives. Look back after this and you'll see that they're gone. Follow this carefully, failing to do so will land you with injuries, or worse. Exit the shack, but in doing so, only take four steps. This is easy for people who decided to be right next to the door, but if you're at the opposite end, God help you. When you exit, you'll find a friend near a door.

They'll coax you inside, but once you're in, the door you came through will disappear. The friend you were with is now the person that resided in the shack. They'll try and talk to you again, mentioning the animal on your face. Please don't talk to them, because if you proceed further with the conversation, Well...they'll ask to inspect you. But they won't ask for permission, they'll start gnawing on your face, before biting and then full-on tearing you apart. This shit is intense, man. I can't even fathom why you'd want to do this. After ignoring them for a few minutes, they'll lead you by the hand into a room filled with lost friends and family members.

Some may be dead, some you haven't seen since your younger days. You'll be asked which ones to "save" and which ones to "kill". The dead ones, well, they're dead so it doesn't really matter, right? But the alive ones will make you sweat, leave you deciding what brought you to this point. When you choose one person to save, the others will die, violently. News reports will flood in, with people found killed in grizzly ways. No fingerprints or evidence will be found.

They'll just be...dead.

Afterwards, the person you "saved" will encounter great fortune in numerous ways. They might become rich, make the next best thing or even just get the girl they wanted. You'll fall asleep and then wake up in your home. It's over.

Some people might wonder, why are you telling me this?

Well, to be honest, I overheard my owner talk about performing it with his friend. I don't know how two people would fit into it, but I guess the-

Hang on, gotta go. He's taking me for a walk and has some newspaper in his pocket. Weird.