Differences || Kellic

Chapter 19

(Trigger warning: Mentions of self harm and rape in this chapter)

Kellin's POV:
Two months have passed since Vic and I got back together. It feels like much longer though. Every moment since we were official again has been perfect. Well, every moment awake that'll say. The nights, not really.

I'd been dreaming, often. I'd wake up sweating in the middle of the night because of my dreams. Either it would be of when Vic was drunk, or when he cut himself. Though it's always worse than it was in reality.

I've dreamt multiple times of him actually going through with raping me. It starts off just like it did in real life, him kissing me and eventually pushing his hand down into my pants. Though it doesn't end there like it did when it happened, it goes on. It gets worse. I'm too weak for him and Vic is too angry and can't control himself.

I just woke up from one of those dreams, a loud scream coming out of my mouth before I could stop myself. Vic woke up right away, obviously due to my screaming. I was sitting up, my eyes wide with tears threatening to fall over and my hair sticking to my sweaty forehead.

"Kels?" Vic questions in a panicked tone. Poor thing must have been scared half to death by my screaming.

"Baby? Baby what's wrong?" He ask, hurriedly sitting up in bed himself.

The tears that are threatening to fall over finally does so and I don't fight anymore to hold them back. Vic scoots over to me, holding me close to him. He wraps his arms around my body, holding me to his toned chest as I cry into the crook of his neck.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I just" I can't even manage to finish my sentence as my own sob interrupts me.

"Shh, don't apologize darling. Please just tell me what happened so that I can help." Vic tells me, carefully rocking me back and forth in his arms.

"I had a dream.." I begin, taking in a deep breath. I hadn't told Vic anything about my dreams the past weeks and I think I realize it's time to come clean about them.

"I had a dream. I actually have had similar dreams the past months. Ever since we got back together I've been spending almost all of my time with you in the days, which has made me dream about you at night. Though I'm not dreaming of the amazing boyfriend that you are, the amazing boyfriend I see every day that I'm awake. I dream about you, and in my dreams bad things are happening with you and with us.

I have two dreams that keep coming back to me. One of them I had right now when I woke you up. I dream about you raping me.." I trail off, waiting to see Vic's reaction at this.

I turn my head back to see how he reacts. His eyes are shut in what seems to be pain and when he opens them again there are unleashed tears in them, about to spill over.

"Fuck.." he mutters, dragging his hand over his face in a frustrated move and pushes his hair out of his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Kellin. I know I fucked up badly but I never realized how much I truly hurt you" He mutters, holding me close to him still.

"It's not your fault I have the dreams Vic, it's no ones fault" I tell him. I've forgiven Vic, and it isn't like he can control what I dream about.

"Have you really forgiven me for it? Because if you haven't I totally understand and maybe that's why you're having these dreams?" He ponders.

"No.. I have forgiven you I promise. I don't know why I have them and it's been driving me crazy. I just want to sleep well again."

"Tell me about them" Vic states suddenly making me look at him in confusion.