Within the Sins

١٢ Dismantling Amity

وبشوارع عمان عندي ذكرى بكل مكان. 

Walking towards Nader and Majed's apartment, Yazid puts his hands in his beige jacket pockets. It has been several months since his university graduation, and the weather has been changing. He now has a full time job and rents a well-furnished apartment of his own from an independent agent. He even owns a car and has enough money to feed and clothe himself. Despite his financial stability, he is yet to overcome his mental and emotional instabilities. Each day has been a roller coaster consisting of breakdowns and sleepless nights. Nothing has changed.

At the moment, he is heading back to his friends' apartment to retrieve a few of his belongings. He enters the apartment building and calls out either of his friends' names, which neither of them answer to. He closes the door and steps towards the living room, searching for the boys. He heads to the kitchen, afterward, but does not find them. Confused, he scratches his cheek, his fingernails running through his stubble.

Yazid decides to head to Nader's bedroom as his belongings are in his room. He opens the cracked door, hinges squeaking. Slowly, he raises his head towards Nader's bed as it creaks and hits the wall it stands against back and forth. The room is dark and stuffy. He can make an outline of the room and the ones in it. He quickly slams the door shut, his body growing hot, fingers twitching. He backs away from the door, eyes frozen on it for a few seconds, inching toward the front door.

As Yazid opens the front door, he hears Nader's bedroom door squeak as it is opened again, but Yazid does not look back. He rushes out the front door and speed walks down the stairs. He starts to breathe through his mouth, the winter cold condensing his breath and forming a cloud every time he breathes out. Right when he is about to open the main door of the apartment building, a hand clutches his arm.

Yazid turns his head with knitted eyebrows, still breathing through his mouth. Nader stands behind him, shirtless, his brown eyes screaming in horror. "Yazid. . ." he says, breathlessly.

Yazid stares at Nader for a few seconds, watching his eyes grow bigger and bigger in the dark foyer. The lightbulb above them keeps flashing on and off. His weight suddenly grows too heavy to carry, so much so that an anchor pulls down at his abdomen. His fingers start to twitch again as a tingling crawls up his fingertips, and his temples start to pound in his head. His armpits start to precipitate under his jacket while a thump arises in his chest. It is hard to breathe, for it feels as though someone is smothering him. Attempting to gasp for air, he realizes that he is starting to lose balance. The lights continue to flash on and off, causing him to grow confused; is it broken, or is he just opening and closing his eyes? Is his vision blurring, or is the world in front of him suddenly becoming enigmatic and undefined? Is Majed now next to Nader, or is that a girl he sees? Why are there three people now? Why is the ground cold? Is he on the ground all of a sudden? Is he underground? Is this what hell is?—

❃ ❃ ❃

Yazid rubs his eyes, his dry fingertips feeling like sandpaper on a heart, before opening them. Gripping at his hair, he realizes he is lying down on a couch. He closes his eyes once more, resting in a fetal position. A long breath escapes in between his lips. The room is freezing cold. His head pounds against his hands. There is no way he is awake, is there? His body is a feather, but his head is a throbbing boulder. How can that be?

He opens his mouth, a yawn escaping him. He rotates his body, sleeping on his abdomen now. Placing his arms on the couch, he rests his head on top of them, eyes still closed. A shiver runs down his legs at the low temperature around him.

"Are you up yet?"

Slightly opening his eyes, Yazid's vision is blurry. He allows his eyes to adjust to the light before taking a good gander at a set of thighs. He blinks a few times before lifting his head off the couch. His eyes raise up to meet a pair of blue eyes. The girl's velvety hair is silky straight, and the light blue jeans hug her legs tightly. He sits up with his hand around his nape, looking the young woman up and down. Who in the world is she, and where the hell is he?