Im Broken

Im broken~1~

I wake up, attached to wires and hospital equipment. I sit up and look around. I had been here for almost 2 weeks and I was ready to go home. Last week people were in and out, but now it was just my mom and my uncle. Every few days my auntie would come in with Matthews daughter, Mya.

I swear she looked just like her dad. Whenever she came in, I teared up. The last time I had seen him, I was layed out on the concrete. My mom said I woke up screaming for him. Her cold words still chill my bones. "Baby Matthew didn't make it." I didn't sleep much that night. I just rolled over, hoping I would die too.

My auntie walked in holding Mya's hand. She was a miracle child. Her mom got in a car crash while pregnant with her. While in the hospital, she gave birth to her and died on the spot. She was only 15. Three years had passed and Mya was so healthy and lively.

Mya climbed onto my hospital bed. She has a big smile on her face. "Grandma said I could come see you. But she wouldn't let me see Daddy. She said.." she looked down and played with one of my tubes.
"What she say baby?" She looked at my auntie and she looked back at me.
"She said Daddy dont live here no more." I looked at my auntie and she was crying.
"What? Of course daddy lives here. Why-"
"She needs to know, Hollie."

I looked over and saw my mom in tears as well. I looked at my little cousin and kissed her forehead twice. "Baby. Daddy is gone." I felt tears fill up in my eyes.
"Where he go?" She talked funny because she had a tooth missing. I touched her curly hair and felt tears comming down my face.
"Sometimes, god wants to bring back one of his best angels back, to fix them. And he decided that it was time to fix daddy." That was the same story my mom told me when my dad died.

Mya looked at me. "Why he don't fix you?" She asked, touching my hair. I held her close to me and let tears fall onto her head. Just then a nurse came in with two police officers. My mom came over and took Mya off my lap. The officers stood next to me and I sat up. "Miss.Hart we'd like to ask you some questions."
I teased up.

They had already asked all the questions regarding the "attackers". I told them that I wasn't pressing charges and they let it go. So what did they want now? " What exactly were you doing outside at 3:12 in the morning?" One of the officers asked. I looked at my mom. " I was going to my cousins house. We went to a party that night and it was getting late."

"Were you drinking that night?"
"No,sir."
"Was your cousin?"
"N-no. Not that I knew of at least."
"Was your cousin involved in any gang activities?" I looked at my aunt this time. She must have seen my body language change and her eyes watered up.
"Me and Matthew went to a party. Some dudes started problems with us. One of them said something like 'he would pay for the things he had done'. I had no idea what they were talking about. Before I knew it we were running for our lives. My cousin might have been in a gang, but he did not deserve to die."

The officers looked at each other then back at me. "Can you identify the person who shot you in your head that night?"
"I told you before, I don't know who they are, and I don't want to find out."
The two officers left out of my room and I turned on my side and cried.

I was released 3 days later. I was so happy to leave that I almost jumped into our dingy mini van. I felt so free. The drive home felt longer than usual. The streets didn't even look the same. I had been through all the streets, I knew evey twist and turn. All because of Matt.

My mom was talking to my uncle. "I can't believe our baby Matt is gone. He was just at our house. He was just on our couch. How could-" I drowned my mom's voice out and looked out the window. We were by Brower park. I used to come here all the time with Mya and Matthew.

***
" You want to go on the slide? Follow daddy!"
" No, daddy. Big one. Big one. "
"Okay, baby. But you got to follow your Big Cousin. Go."

We sat on the park bence. He had Mya on his lap.
"I don't know what I would do without my two favorite girls."
He brought us into a group hug and kissed Mya's cheek. She giggled and jumped down, running to the park.

***

I looked at the park. This still doesn't seem real. My cousin was gone. No one was close to him than me.
When we got to my house, my uncle got all of the bears, balloons and everything people brought to me into the house. He set them on a love seat and gave me a hug. "You're going to be fine, Hollywood​." Was I really? I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I let it buzz. My mom, aunt and cousin came in and joined in on the hug. I felt so loved. The only thing missing was my cousin.

I slept on the couch. I usually slept in my room but my auntie was sleep in there with her granddaughter. I woke up when I heard a slight knock on the door. I opened it and my downstairs neighbor was standing there. "Sorry. Were you sleep?"

He asked. I barely talked to him. I only spoke to him around Matthew, so this was the first time I had talked to him alone. " No, it's fine. I was just watching TV anyway. " I gestured for him to come in. He sat on the couch and looked around. "Listen I-" he started talking but he couldn't get the words out. I looked at him. He moved his eyes quickly and pointed them toward the ground. I already knew he was going to say something about my cousin. They were sort of close, sk