MiniZerk was always real..

Finally opening up

*SELF HARM*
*HORRIBLE WORDS, MAY TRIGGER PEOPLE*
*COMMENTS ABOUT SUICIDE*
*STRONG LANGUAGE*

Simon's POV
I kind of felt bad that I yelled at Josh, but I'm not in the mood. It's not like I...did anything stupid...to myself. Okay, yes. I might have cut myself a bit, it wasn't just about Josh though. Freya being mean, the stress, the YouTube comments...everything just gets to me sometimes...I'm human too. Especially the comments, they get to me but normally it isn't that bad, but this time. It was worse, It felt worse. all I see is;

"You're so pathetic"

"Honestly, go kill yourself"

"You're a fucking shit Youtuber, kill yourself"

"You must be a fag, you have no girlfriend"

"You look like a dick sucking fag, go and drink bleach"

"I'd laugh if you killed yourself"

All the time. I just don't want to exist right now. Tears forming in my eyes, ready to fall. Just thinking about them moments, makes me feel pathetic.

Whilst sitting on the stool, I hear someone coming down the stairs, heading my way. I quickly wipe away the remaining tears and put up my hood,  like this helps anything I think to myself.

I look towards the doorway to see Vikk, with an empty glass. He's up at this time? Why's everyone up so early?

"Hey, dude" Vikk says, trying to start conversation.

"Hey." I reply, trying to sound like I won't snap at any second.

"I heard shouting." Vikk says instantly, whilst walking over to the sink to clean his glass.
"You okay? Do you...wanna talk?" He adds on.

I for some reason feel like I can trust Vikk. Out of everyone in the Sidemen. Vikk is good at keeping secrets and giving you the best advice, in conclusion, he's the one that actually gives a fuck. He's so nice to me, I feel like I can tell him anything.

I think about my answer for a second.  fuck it, I'll tell him.

I start to bubble up a bit, "N-no, Vikk" I managed to stutter out. "I'm n-not..alright"

Vikk turns back to me instantly and sits down, patting me for comfort.
"What's happened?! Please, tell me Simon"

I think about this for a second but I was sure. I lift up my sleeve, revealing recents cuts from my razor blade.
Vikk grabs my arm, looking like he's about to cry.

"Oh my god! S-Simon, w-w-why?" He starts to tear up a bit, because of me. Maybe I did this over petty things but I couldn't help it.

"I...I.." I couldn't even start a sentence, I didn't even know what to say.
"Simon...why- why did you do this?! W-what m-made yo- you do this?!" Vikk looked disappointed, but mostly hurt, sad, and angry. He was crying more than me and he was a stuttering mess. I can't believed he cared so much.

I couldn't handle it, I snapped. I started crying my eyes out. Vikk held me close to him, embracing me with a warm hug.

"J-J-Josh."

"What'd do you mean?!" Vikk was confused by this, obviously.

"I did this...because of Josh, I love Josh.."