EDEN | silas

I

She thought about dying but she didn't want to die. Not even close. In fact, her problem was the complete opposite. She wanted to live, she wanted to escape. She felt trapped and bored and claustrophobic. There was so much to see and so much to do but she somehow still found herself doing nothing at all. She was still there in her her metaphorical bubble of existence and she couldn't quite seem to figure out what she was doing or how to get out of it.

She was different and she knew it. She saw things different, she thought things different, she looked different, she felt things different. She wasn't supposed to feel anything. She was considered a not-so-uncommon defect in the advancement of human beings. But she hid it expertly. She was positive that her fellow members of the collective didn't suspect a thing. Except for one.

He could feel, too. He had the dreaded disease. He had been diagnosed with S.O.S. and took medication to slow the progression. He didn't hide. He pushed through as if everything was normal. Or, at least, he tried to.

Switched On Syndrome was like the new cancer, though cancer sufferers could be saved. S.O.S. wasn't contagious but it didn't have any known cures. There were four stages. Once someone hit the fourth, they were taken to the D.E.N. and they were never heard from again. No one knows what happens in there with all the patients, but no one liked to think about it. They just hoped they don't get it and find out.

There were hiders, of course. The ones who didn't get diagnosed. The ones who, true to their titles, hid the illness. She was one of them. And it became harder to hide every day, especially when he was onto her.

"Good night Eden," Leonard said as he passed by her interface at work.

"Good night Leonard," she replied, monotonously. Leonard walked away from her and left the building. The only two left were herself and him.

She turned off her interface and began to leave, instantly noticing that he was following her, observing her. It unnerved her but she kept it to herself.

"The collective runs by everybody doing their part. Report suspicious activity to health and safety. Health and safety are here to help. Just look for the black and white vests," The automated voice called from the train station. She slid her wrist over the scanner and walked onto the tube.

"This is a message from the collective. Are you overly tired? Or experiencing increased sensitivity? Maybe you have difficulty concentrating. You may have S.O.S. Switched On Syndrome," the board in front of her seat said in the same automated voice. She ignored it and continued her trek home. Only when she reached her dorm buildings door did she stop to turn and look at him.

"This has to stop," she said, facing him. "If it continues I'll be forced to report you. Do you understand?"

"You have the bug. Don't you?" He said.

"I'm clean," she protested.

"The day that man jumped off the building...you saw his body out the window, you...you looked...affected. There have been other times, too. I've been watching you. The way you look at the world, the way you experience things," he said.

"I'm clean," she repeated.

"It's different," he said.

"What you are going through must be very difficult," she said to him, acting like she didn't know the feeling. She'd been watching him too. She wouldn't admit it, but she thought she might have harboured feelings for the young man after the few years they worked together.

"If you were clean, this conversation wouldn't even be taking place. You'd have reported me already. Am I right?"

"Goodnight, Silas." She said, turning to leave. He didn't try to stop her.

↢ • ↣

"Goodnight, Eden," Rachel said as she left to go home.

"Goodnight, Rachel," Eden replied, turning off her interface and heading into the bathroom. Silas followed, like always.

She left the stall door unlocked, hoping he would enter with her. He did and closed the door behind him, locking it.

She looked up at him and slowly, unsure of what to do, grabbed his hand in hers. It was the first bodily contact she had felt in a long time. Her breath hitched as he intertwined their fingers. She didn't know what to do next, so she stood there.

"Your bruise went away," Eden said, raising a hand to touch his temple, where a bruise once laid.

"You noticed that?" Silas asked. Eden nodded and smiled, moving her hand to hold his cheek.

He hesitantly leant down and, very quickly, placed a kiss on her lips. She didn't make a move to stop him, instead, she moved herself closer. Thus starting the tradition of meeting there in that small stall after their works shifts to talk and be close to someone. They felt accepted for the first time since they'd gotten the disease. If you could even call it that.

↢ • ↣

"I've had the bug a year and three months. I didn't want to go to the doctor. I just sort of knew. You know there is really nothing any...anyone could do to help. And I'm scared of the meds and then..." Eden trailed off, playing with Silas' fingers as they sat on the floor across from each other.

"Doesn't seem fair at first," he said.

"Right? You know I could live- I could live with it. But every day was different and that was the hardest part. Every single time I thought I knew something or learned anything I... didn't. And I felt this guilt every time I wanted to go back to normal. Like I shouldn't want that. Every day I am practising unbearable discipline and self-control," Eden explained, opening up for the first time about the matter. Silas' gaze was soft as he leant forward to kiss her again.

"You realise what would happen if anyone saw us, in here, right now? We'd go straight to the D.E.N. It's a death sentence," Eden said, sadly. "One of my neighbours missed two doctor's appointments. I haven't seen him in six weeks. We can't do this again. It can't happen, you know that."

"We just...we just have to hold out for the cure," Silas said, standing up from the floor, helping Eden up.

"Will you stay in here with me a little longer?" Eden asked, squeezing his hand in hers. He nodded, pulling her into a hug. She clung to him.

Thought they said they wouldn't meet again, they couldn't help but go there after work to see each other.

"The way you've been looking at me..." Eden started.

"I can't help it," Silas apologised.

"I can feel it," she continued.

"What does it feel like?"

"It feels wrong," Eden said.

"No, no. No. It's not wrong. It's completely right. This feels...completely right," Silas countered, placing his hands on either side of her face.

"I'm scared. I'm so scared," she mumbled as he kissed her.

"Me too."

Word Count: 1242