A tom harlock fanfic

chapter 3

tom kept bragging about how hes fucking rich as fuck (yt money) and so i took his credit card and booked us a honeymoon. because fuck him ya know.

he wasnt even mad because it was an opportunity to vlog. i was mad because he'd rather do that than fuck the shit outta me.

he started vlogging while we were at the airport. "So we're going to our honeymoon that andrea paid with MY credit card!!" he yelled as we were walking through the crowd.

"tom you idiot stop yelling bitch" i told him with a smile. man i love that cunt

he turned it off and grinned. "sorry love but i gotta get that youtube moneyz"

the same second someone pushed him (it was an old lady), he toook the camera out

"LET ME BE PETTY FOR A FUCKING SECOND" he basically screamed while i felt like crying and googled how to get the quickest possible divorce

"THIS OLD ASS BITCH CUNT JUST PUSHED ME WHAT THE FUCK IM SENSITIVE" he cried.

"tom love u need to sotp" i told him calmly.

we boarded the plane finwlly after 4 hours of him bitxhing abou5 everything and anything. ee were going to la!!! he was so exf8ted to see el8hag and christine again, he wouldnt stop taloing about it. we were both obviously wearing dont mess with texas shirts.

they were waiting at lax for us with a huge sign that said "ENGLAND"S BIGGEST CUNTS" i felt really warm and welcome.

we dropped our luhgage off at elijahs and went to the beach. tom keot pointijg at the sun. "we dont have that in britain" he kept yelling while strangers stared at us like we just gout out od a mental hostpital.

we got out towels out and setyled in. as soon as i finished puttinf sunscreen on tom he ran to thw ocean and started drinking the water

"ZAYN WAS IN AUSTRALIA A MONTH AGO SO HOPEFULLY IM DEINKIG HIS PISS RIGHT NOW" he screamed in delight. christine elihag and i joined him seconds later, crying with happiness. we had parts f zaysn dna in us. thats all we coulsve askd for and more.

"Yo guys grindr sent us 10kg of weed" elijag reminded us as i held christines head under the water hopwing she woukd drown.

two hours later we were high as the plane tom and i flew on. "i married shrek" i announced as tom was giving me a hickey. "IM TGE DONKEY" christine added from the toilet, where she was puking all the fireball she drank. they were also sponsored bt fireball so we had at least 84 bottlw left.

i dont remember the rest if the trip because we spent the next montg an a half drunk or high or both. mostly both. i only remember bi5s and pieces.

one night we were cuddling on the floor about 4 feet away from elijahs puke. "i'd fuck the shir outta elijag" tom confesed. "samw" i added.

the best nigt we spent there was when we went to a strip club. i made a fake job application for tom and got his fat ass hired. elijah, christine and nick helped me get him in his underwear and we pushed hik on the stahe. he earmed about$ 8499 all in singles. "im quitting youtbe to become a stripper" he said as he wiped his joyful tears with some money. "i fully support u babe" i told him kinyly. "this is wy i love u" he said as he huggd me. he earned the most money while dancing to sweatshirt by my bro jacob sartorius. obviously.

elijah and tom hugged for exactly 37 minutes before we left. they bith cried while christine and i screamed "PUSSIES" in the middle of the airport.

when tom and i got home, he talked on snapchat for about 2 hours while i edited his vlogs. lazy bitch.

we slept for one week srraight after tharlt.

all in all -- best honeymoon ever.