desperate | kuroo x reader

[One] Suggestion

Your voice quavered, "W-What?"

"Kids these days are rotten, you know? You can raise them in the best way possible and they can still grow up to be deadbeats. Plus, they take a lot of time and money. Maybe we shouldn't have them once we're married."

You were silent as tears blurred your eyesight, heart splintering into millions of bits and pieces. You have envisioned children of your own since you were a little girl. That dream is now abruptly being forced from under you.

You don't even think you were as in love with your fiancé as you should have been. You likely only proceeded with him to have the children you desperately yearn for. Your end goal out of all of that was children.

What were you to do now?

Your fiancé continued to admit his thoughts without paying a thread of attention to you. "We'll be married in a month and then we can live an easy life. Children just complicate things."

Your fiancé glimpsed over to you to discover the tears that were gushing from your eyes. You witnessed his face plummet at the sight of you. The man did not expect you to react this way, he thought you would be okay with it. You verbalized your enthusiasm previously over the subject but he thought you would get over it once he came out with his confession. Now, it doesn't appear it is going to be a smooth bounce back.

"I've told you from the beginning I wanted children." You voiced as you utilized the tissues to mop your continual tears. "Why are you springing this on me now? A month before the wedding?"

"I'm sorry. I started to think about it seriously since you brought it up a couple nights ago and I realized that children just might not be something I want to invest in."

"You don't invest in children! You love and care for them! They're not toys you make payments on!"

"You don't have to get defensive, [f/n]. I just don't want children, okay? I don't think anything will change my mind." The male spoke as he settled into the sofa.

You declared emotionlessly, "Maybe we should call the wedding off."

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"I told him all along I wanted children and he agreed! Suddenly, he decides he doesn't want them?" You weep into a tissue. "I don't even think my sobbing is about loosing a husband..It's about loosing my chance to have children with someone..."

"I was going to have children with my wife until I found out she was cheating on me." Kuroo confesses to comfort you. "Nonetheless, now taking so much time and energy to go on dates for a couple years then to marry. That's if the relationships I spend time on even work out that far. I know how you feel. I wish I had a kid too but I don't have time with my job to go through all of that trouble again. It feels so far away."

"I'm sorry you feel the same. This feeling fucking blows." You acknowledge. "I feel like there is no one for me, you know? It's like i'm destined to be alone. All thirty-four years of my life there hasn't been one person who I have felt connected with as a significant other. All of my family interrogates when i'm going to have a baby and I don't have an answer! I would like to know too! I want a baby so bad. I don't know what to do anymore."

You can't help but break down again. Your once in a lifetime chance was ripped out from under you. You were so close to having a baby but now it's so far away. You feel trapped and alone.

Kuroo places a soothing hand on your back. "I don't know what to do either. If it makes you laugh, i'd be happy to tell you once I slept with my boss's secretary and I contemplated whether to actually pull out or not."

You laugh lightly because you can relate. "When my ex-fiancé and I first started dating, we weren't doing anything protected. When we were finishing up, he had to push me off of him so he wouldn't let the load go with me still on top."

Kuroo laughs lightly too. "Does that make us bad people?"

"No. Just despicably desperate."

The two of you remain in silence for a while, taking solace in each other's company. You feel some sort of comfort in knowing Kuroo is undergoing the same battle but also feel dreadful about it. This is a situation no one should have to be faced with.

Kuroo breaks the silence as the two of you gaze at the midnight sky, "C-Can I ask you something totally insane?"

"Since when do you ask?"

"It's alright to say no because it's..really out there..." Kuroo feebly tries to begin. "but what about we have children...together.."

Kuroo's heart hammers out of his chest once he finally opened up about it. The thought bursted into his head among their tranquil silence. The bedheaded male doesn't know how you are going to react.

Your eyes have never darted to his so fast. "That joke isn't funny. After everything I told y-"

"Who said I was saying it to be funny?" Kuroo defends, boring his eyes into your own. "I'm serious. We both have a heart crushing wish to have our own children. Hell, both of us contemplated having a kid with someone we didn't even know. I like to think we're close to each other and that we're both good people, so why not? Who says we have to be married, you know?"

You let the two of you engulf into silence again as your mind ponders the idea. "You're sure you're serious?"

"Yes. You can sleep on it before you decide. I know it's a big step to ta-"

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh my god, yes! Please! I love you! Thank you!" You squeal as you coil your arms tightly around him. You pull back quickly, "Wait, you're sure? Or are you the one who needs to sleep on it?"

"I'm positive I want to have a baby with you, if you allow me to. No strings attached." Kuroo answers. "We're good friends and this is probably the closest we're going to get having our own children for now."

"Would we be crazy for doing this?"

Kuroo repeats your words, "No. Just despicably desperate."