I hate that Wattpad just thinks that I like reading romance or am a Harry Styles fan or something. I mean, I don't really read romance, not that I haven't; I just wouldn't be in line for some fucking dumbass love story that only reminds me that I have no love life... or life. All of the stories I've read and actually enjoyed that in some way include romance wasn't about the romance part(s).
On top of all of that, it includes Harry Styles books. Should I mention that I've never read a book about or liked a song by Harry Styles? I don't give a fuck on what you're going to say about that. I don't like his music, so I'm not a fan. I don't know him, so I have reasons to read fan fictions about him. It's honestly as simple as that. Wattpad just assumes that I like him because some other people do. Most of the songs I've heard by him are love songs, and it should be pretty obvious that I wouldn't actually listen to a love song just by what I said above.
I'm sure a lot of people think I'm broken. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm not broken; Hollywood just hasn't brainwashed me yet. I don't consider myself broken, even from my depressing, homicidal, violent, gory thoughts. I don't consider myself broken. I'm more of torn apart and sloppily taped back together.
I try my best not to let anyone think they've broken me. I'm not letting them say things behind my back. I'm simply waiting for the day they suffer ten times more than I. I'll laugh, just the way they laughed. Then I'll cry. I'll cry, just the way they never cried. One part of me will be glad they're suffering like I did; one part of me will be upset because I don't want anyone to suffer like I am.
I kind of think of it like, "If they think that they've broken me, it'll satisfy them as they laugh even harder at my pain. If they know that they'll never break me, they can just simply suffer at the thought that I'm still alive and I'm never letting them win." This is the dumbass game you didn't buy, but you somehow found it in your attic. Now you're stuck playing it, and the finish line is so very far away. The shortcuts only take you to the finish line, not the winners' circle.
This is some deep, personal shit. Sorry.
