Hidden

Terrible Relationships

When we take a glimpse back to all of my past relationships, I've been through a lot of several guys.

Been with someone that I was actually using him for publicity, the start of my rising fame. Been with an awfully man not my age just to strengthen my career. Been with a high-profile partner which our relationship was very public and even boomed our careers to the rooftop. Got engaged after that but never got to marry for some reasons.

Been married 3 times that all of them actually failed. And now on, still dating a lot of men with my age of 40s.

It was all never been easy. But the world goes like, It's hard to name a man in Hollywood that J.Lo didn't date. She should check herself for STDs. It hurts but what can I do? Is it my fault if I always failed at love?

Of all the high-profiles I've dated publicly like Puffy, Cris, Ben, and Marc, they were my four great love affairs. I have to admit I had good times with each of them though. There were these times I felt so happy and loved. Or so it was love as I thought. But for me, the greatest love affair was of course, with Marc - the father of my kids. The longest relationship spanning over 7 years. But let's not get back to them. I've written about those in my previous book.

Let's talk about the hidden part of my terrible relationships. Way back 90s I was forced to go with Tommy Matolla - but let's stop there and go back later on.

After the divorce with Marc, Beau was there to pick me up and helped me feel being loved again. It all started as we became real close from the beginning of planning my world tour, and during the world tour of course, being my lead back-up dancer he was always with me as we fly over different countries to perform. It remained a rumor until 2013, but I was actually already dating him late 2012 or maybe earlier. I don't know why it actually happened but I liked him though he was so much younger than me. He was always there for me. He fulfilled my needs of love and affection after being devastated with my recent divorce back then. I was so blinded after because of that fucking divorce.

Then up to now, I've got into few more relationships. And I'm gonna include on the list the people and the media thinks I've dated or I'm dating.

Rumors spread that I've actually dated Ryan Guzman, my co-star in The Boy Next Door. That rumor spanned 2015-2016 and Beau and I are on & off that time. So I can't blame myself if I really did hooked up with him. I mean come on, Guzman is such a hottie!

Then 2016, Beau and I really ended everything for good. And that year, when I kissed Marc onstage during our performance for Latin Grammy, people assumed we're getting back together. Especially when he split up with his wife Shannon de Lima days later. I also thought about it that what if I'll give him another chance and start over? Our family will be reconciled again. Max and Emmè would surely be happy to have their dad again. But then, what if we will fail again? I can't go back to all the pain I've gone through years ago! I'm living my new life now. I've already moved on.

Then there comes Drake which people think I was fucking with. Actually we were doing good. We collaborated a song together which wasn't officially released but it was somewhere in YouTube.

And now I'm going out with Arod. I've met him years ago when Marc and I went to see a football game and he was at the quarterbacks. We even took a picture with him and now we're in a good relationship. And I just realized something: he's name is Alex Rodriguez, then my mom is Guadalupe Rodriguez. That's what makes me Jennifer Lynn Rodriguez Lopez. Ironic isn't it? I'm not going to commit with him anyway and marriage is out of the picture. We're just having a good time together.

Furthermore I might write more details about the people mentioned in this chapter in the next chapters. I just gotta find the perfect time so no one will have any idea this book exists. Even my bestfriend Leah Remini wouldn't know. But if she'll find out then that's it.

"Jen, if you hide something from me, I'll find it my way and I'll still know it." She would say.

Now, how to end this chapter? I don't know how. All the relationships I've been were just so surreal. But now I'll just sit back and watch what goes on with Arod and me.

I'll just enjoy this while it lasts.