Beau Casper Smart was the Noah Sandborn of my life. I mean what happened to me at that moment was almost exactly the same with my role as Claire Peterson in The Boy Next Door.
Claire was divorced, and so do I. She's at her 40s just like me. She felt vulnerable when her husband left her. Then that's when a much younger guy came to her life and made her feel loved again. And in my life, it was Beau who made me feel I was important and I have value. I HAVE VALUE. And I deserve to be kept and loved.
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I can relate so much with that role that's why I never hesitated not to play the role. I was so sure I can put myself on Claire's shoes.
The difference was that, Beau didn't get crazily obsessed with me. Instead, he seemed to get distant as our relationship went longer. We fight a lot in many different reasons but he would come back that's why we were on and off in those 5 years. I would always forgive him and give a lot of chances hoping he would change and get better for the next time.
How come I was so blind? I knew that he would just use me for his own benefits at the first place. But why we've got that far? That it even got to the point where he proposed to me. I declined it cause I know it was the right thing to do. No further explanations. Marrying him was just not on my plans and will never be. Maybe I'll get married for the 4th time but not to him.
The very last time we broke up in September 2016, I received a gift from him weeks later.
He sent me two dozens of expensive white roses which cost a fortune. I was thinking of how thoughtful he was and it actually melted my heart. I wanted to take him back after his peace offering and apology.
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But that's when I found out something that got me so upset. Little did I know that those flowers he bought were charged on my personal bank account. How wise and tricky isn't it? He just proved how pathetic he was. And that, I swear to heaven's sake I'm never ever getting back with him. That's the final time we call it quits.
And some of the reasons on why we often broke up, it's because of his cheating ass. I've caught him cheating 3 times. Twice on the same girl. And once in a different girl again. It's such a huge insult to me when he uses the money and things I fed him to his two-timed chick. I'd rather feed the whole Africa in my entire life than feed his fuck buddy and me just so stupid believing some guy like him would actually like a so much older woman like me. It was such a painful slap on my own face.
