Torn // Girl Meets World Fan fiction

Chapter 5 - Sleepover Part 1

Isabella POV

"Stop whining, Zay," Maya groans, burying her face in my shoulder,"I told you not to eat too much popcorn,"

"But Mayyyaaa," he whines pitifully, his brown eyes blinking like an innocent puppy,"I feel sick."

She sighs and moves to his side of the couch and comforts him (in a Maya way).

Lucas won't stop looking at me.

I'm sitting in between Maya and Lucas on the couch, Riley being on Lucas's left, me on his right.

Even though he's got his arm wrapped around her shoulders and her head on his shoulder, he keeps stealing glances at me. It's really making me uncomfortable.

I don't like it when people look at me.

I'm not even that attractive. Like at all.

And Lucas loves Riley.

But if he starts to like someone else, and starts a triangle again, then he will be confused, Riley would be hurt, and my relationship with Riley would be awkward, and-

By this point, I'm hyperventilating. I always do this - I worry about something simple. Lots of people do that.

But then I think of every negative outcome possible. And every consequence.

How is it the only thing I'm not optimistic about is anything involving myself?

I excuse myself from watching the movie and head into the kitchen.

My shaky fingers reach for a glass and fill it with water.

"Bella?"

I flinch, nearly spilling water down my shirt.

"Lucas! You scared me!" I exclaim, setting the glass of water down on the massive kitchen island.

"Bella? Are you ok? Your shaking."

"I am?" I glance down at my legs, my arms, my hands, which are all trembling.

"Um, yes?" I reply.

He blinks,"What?"

"You asked if I was ok. And I am," I say, trying to convince myself, too.

His skeptical look makes me sigh.

"Look, Lucas, I just don't think you'd understand-"

"Try me. Come on, I want to help, Bella," he whispers.

I twist my fingers together, for what feels like hours.

Finally, I muster the courage to ask,"Why were you staring at me? Do I have something in my hair or something?"

Please say it was something like that.

"No," he says slowly.

"Then why?" I ask again.

He exhales,"I don't know,"

I raise the glass to my lips to take a drink.

"You just looked really beautiful," he blurts.

I choke on my water.

"Me? Beautiful?" I sputter, still trying to stop choking,"That's a lie,"

"How could you say that?" I'm surprised to hear astonishment in his voice.

"How could I not? My nose is too big, I'm too overweight-"

"That's not true," he says despairingly, "Your perfect just the way you are,"

My self esteem may be the lowest of the low, but I can tell he's not comfortable around me.

"D-do you like me?" I whisper.

A deafening silence follows my question. He looks away, refusing to meet my eyes.

Stupid, stupid stupid. You shouldn't have asked that question now you look like an idiot. What were you-

"I don't know," he sighs.

He pauses before adding,"I don't know how I feel."

"Neither do I," I murmur.

"Does this mean we're back in another triangle again?" He asks, smiling wryly.

"I don't think this group of friends can handle another one of those," I sigh, "besides, it can't happen. You love Riley. Rucas forever," I smile at this.

"Do you have feelings for me?"

I hesitate.

Do I?

I'm not so sure.

"Maybe," I say slowly, "When you first moved here, I did at least. But you liked Riley from day one. So that dream died. And then the triangle with Riley and Maya," I sigh.

"I don't know, it was like I was the disposable friend. You didn't seem to notice me, and I was fine with that eventually. I was happy with Riles and Peaches."

"I'm sorry you felt that way," His emerald green eyes swimming with guilt,"I never meant to ignore you. And I always noticed you."

I laugh without humor,"Don't say that to make me feel better,"

"I'm not," he says in a simplistic tone that makes me believe him,"You've always had something about you. Your personality is so much like Riley, but you have a little of Maya in you, too."

I frown,"Are you saying I don't have a personality? Just part of Maya and Riley?"

"No!" He exclaims,"I meant that you're just like the best of both worlds. Your personality is different, but you must admit you and Riley have a lot in common."

I grudgingly have to admit it's true. We both love reading, rainbows, unicorns, animals, being happy, floral print clothing, dresses, happy colors.

"I guess so," I agree.

"You even look a little like both of them," he says, smiling slightly.

I laugh,"Sure. Because I look something like the blonde beauty and the pretty brunette,"

"How do you not see how beautiful you are?" He asks.

How can you not see how ugly I am?

I shrug,"Most people can't look at themselves in the mirror without seeing all their flaws,"

His eyes go wide at the accuracy of my statement.

"This is one of the things I love about you," he says,"You're so intelligent and compassionate. You put yourself into other people's shoes so easily. You know how to help people. Fix things."

I smile weakly, trying not to seem to happy at his statement,"I'm sure lots of people can. It's easier when we're teenagers. We're all going through the same things, whether we realize it or not. I think most people are most self conscious and vulnerable when they're teens,"

"And there you go saying wise things again," Lucas says with a smile.

His face is unnaturally close to mine. I shrink back instinctively.

"Why do you always do this?" He asks, sounding almost pained.

I blink,"What?"

"Right when we actually get to know each other, you back off. Why?"

I stare at my feet,"I don't know,"

Then, out of no where, he kisses me on the lips.