God Bless My Stupid Family (The Story of the Ketchums) (Amour Oneshots)

Painting

A morning just like everyday, Ash was given a mission. He had to repaint Pikachu's house, as an order from his wife, Serena. He was about to start when his son, Serash, walked by (again, sorry for my limited imagination in naming)

"Dad, why do you play with those paint colors alone?" Serash "innocently" asked

"I need to repaint something. Children like you can't do it" Ash said

"Which thing I can't do!? I can even do stuffs like going to the bars and drinking beer! You just don't want to bring me to!" Serash angrily said

"Not a chance! Just wait 15 more years!" Ash fought back

"I don't understand. What is fun in those bars that you go to every weeks!?"

"It's very fun! Drinking beer and chatting with those long-legs stewardesses..."

"Are they as beautiful as mom?"

"Oh they are waaaaay more beautiful!" Ash said without noticing that Serena was behind him

After getting a beat up of his life (and his son had to get it, too), Serena angrily walked back inside

"Unless you're done with painting, don't even think about dinner!" She scolded and got in.

Ash waited until his wife was gone, then he scolded his son for wasting his time

"It's your fault, anyway! You have to let me get into those bars" Serash said

"Look, son. Bars are boring. Inside are just a bunch of old men talking about government stuffs and drinking tea" Ash explained, but Serash didn't seem to get it

"I like drinking tea and talking about government stuffs" Serash said and tried to sound like he was an adult

(I think Serash is like Kidney and me in real life. Yeah... drinking tea and government stuffs xD)

"Fine! I'll let you paint, okay?" Ash said, totally gave up to his own son.

After Serash got himselt a bucket of paint colors, Ash started teaching him how to paint. Serash looked at how Ash painted the house and got curious

"Dad, why do we have to paint the house smoothly?" He asked

"So the house won't get too rough and wizen, like old women's skin"

"I got it. So you're talking about mom, right?"

--X--

"Let's start the work, son!" Ash commanded

"Dad, your left cheek... Mom's red handprint is still on it..." Serash pointed at Ash's left cheek

"Shut up, son"

Serash started painting the house, and believe it or not, Ash actually impressed. Serash did the job quite well, despite he was just 5 years old. Ash started appreciating him

"But I'm not as good as you, dad" Serash said

"Of course, son"

"I admire dad at everything, except the fact that you're scared of your wife"

"NONSENSE! Who say I'm afraid of her?!" Ash asked. Then he felt a dark aura from inside. He looked at his left and saw Serena looking at him with demon's eyes, and she was probably holding a knife

"I-I-I mean yeah! Men have to be afraid of his wife, son! So he can survive in this cruel world!" Ash said and sighed in relief when he found out Serena had gone

They kept painting the house until Serash made a mistake. He accidentally swayed the paintbrush and some paint shot out from his brush. "Luckily", Ash dodged it, but soon he knew that his dodge marked an end of his life

"Dad, you shouldn't have..." Serash said and pointed at something behind Ash. Ash turned around and found out the paint ended up on... Serena's expensive lingerie

"Oh no, what should we do? Your mom will kill us if she finds out about this... Oh, how about we blame Pikachu?" Ash panicked, while Pikachu shouted his name angrily. Meanwhile...

"I think you heard what dad said... mom" Serash told his mom,  who was standing behind, holding some kind of knife or cane, and... I don't think I need to tell you what happened next

Author's note

Okay, and that's the first oneshot for this book. I want to make the storyline as simple as possible, so... it's more "real life"

I'll take my Entrance 10 Test tomorrow, and I'll be back on Sunday. However, I still need to find some ideas for the next oneshot.

Also, I'd like to say that in summer, I'll publish an Amour book that has high level of comedy. It won't be too dark or sad, and I'm sure you guys will enjoy it. Until then, see you later