French Benefits

05/ Vermilion

* DISCLAIMER: Contains explicit language, drug use, violent references, sexual content.

Thursday · February 1, 2001 · Selma, Texas

"So, what's the deal with you and Mr. DJ?" Mandy asked me as I made my way groggily to the kitchen area.

"We just got really high and drunk and talked about a bunch of shit." I said briefly, stretching and popping my neck.

"Well, what else happened?" Hanna urged me on.

"Nothing. We truly just talked all night," I shrugged off their accusations and went to the coffee pot, needing it for the long day ahead.

"Bullshit, Ali. You two may be friends, but it's so obvious that you both want each other. And I know for a fact that's never stopped you before. So what's the big deal?" It was Hanna's turn to chime in on that one.

"I wish you would all just fucking quit with trying to put shit into my head! If I wanted to fuck him I would." I snapped at them. I went back to my bunk and grabbed my notebook, then returned to the front. I decided to write and get some of this frustration out. None of my girls made anymore comments to me, so I let it go as well.

I don't have a crush on Sid or have any feelings of romance at all. It's just a simple attraction that everyone experiences in their lives. My love life has had its moments and I'm just happy with the way that things are right now. Why fix something that isn't broken?

"Morning gorgeous," Corey said as he plopped down beside me.

I smiled at him, "Morning, how's your head?" I asked.

"Fucking shit. Thanks I guess," He laughed despite his hangover.

Luckily I didn't have one. Not really sure how I managed to escape it though. But I damn sure wasn't gonna complain.

Thankfully we have today off so we're all gonna hang out and just have a relaxing day.

"So, did you know that Panter-" Joey started to tell us all but I cut him off.

"Is playing and we'll see them a few times? Yeah." I said, not realizing how hateful my voice sounded.

"Whoa, hostile." Joey commented. I sighed.

"I haven't seen any of them in years and I'm not sure how it'll go. I mean they were my closest fucking friends and I shared a lot with them. I just don't want it to be.. Awkward, I guess."

"Then don't let it be awkward. You've all moved on so there's no reason for it to be anything but positive." Joey said simply.

Later that evening, we were all drunk and playing truth or dare on the bus, and I just have one question. What was I thinking? We're pretty crazy women but these dudes are fucking weird with the shit they dare you to do.

The rules were: you pick truth or dare, and you have to do whatever you get. Simple enough, right? Not for Shawn. If you refuse to tell the truth, you have to take two back-to-back shots of Fireball straight. If you refuse to do a dare, you have to take the two shots and remove an article of clothing.

"Who the fuck plays truth or dare in their twenties anyway?" I asked as I laughed.

"Us, apparently." Hanna wasn't being so lighthearted about it either.

So far, Joey was dared to punch himself in the nuts. Chris had to run around the bus with no pants. Corey chose truth and his question was, 'Who on this bus are you most sexually attracted to?'