Married to a Monster

One

You didn't expect to get married. At twenty-years-old, it was the last thing on your mind. So, mad doesn't cover how you felt when you were being encouraged to get married to your childhood best friend. And by encouraged, that meant forced.

You weren't happy as a typical bride-to-be would be. After all, Jongin – or as he now went by, Kai, had changed a lot. He wasn't the same boy he used to be when you guys were children. You loved him for as long as you could remember but when high school came around, love wasn't enough for you anymore. Jongin changed into a monster. He was aggressive to you, outright mean and pushed you away. He got caught up in the rowdy gang of boys who were notorious for sleeping around and experimenting with drugs.

It could be said you hated Jongin, as he led you to suicide twice while in high school. Being saved by two of his friends Minseok and Jongdae both of those times. You didn't know how they knew to find you each time. The first when you were going to jump off a bridge – and then the second when you tried to drown yourself – but they found you. Some may say it was stupid that he could lead you to kill yourself, but the mental turmoil he put you through was enough. One day you had your bright best friend, and then the next he had turned into a monster.

He iced you out. Saying cruel things to you that you didn't want to replay although, you couldn't help but replay him telling you he wished you weren't around anymore. It's amazing how someone you loved could do that to you and force you into hating them.

After your suicide attempts, his two friends watched out for you and tried to hide you from the attacks of Kai, but they never could do much as Kai could hurt you with one look. You pushed those two friends of his away as much as you could but they were persistent. They acted as guardian angels in a way – never caring how often you blew up on them, they would still look out for you. They remembered your birthday and to bring you surprises on every holiday and even the anniversary of your dead sister who you never even mentioned to them before. They made you wonder how they ended up in Kai's sick group of friends, but you never asked.

Nowadays after being out of high school for two years, you didn't talk to anyone. You didn't hold friends because after high school you didn't feel the need. You tried to put Minseok and Jongdae in your distant past along with Jongin and Kai – since they were two different people to you. You stayed with your parents, in a house too big for three people. Your father owned an insurance company with Jongin's father, which was how you two were so close and making both of you wealthy. You knew that's why you were being forced to marry him so that you could continue the company on with both of the blood lines.

You didn't care for the wealth, though. While your parents tried to use their money to buy your happiness since you weren't the same since you lost your sister when you were fourteen. But they couldn't buy your mental health especially since Kai spent a majority of your teenage years making your mental health worse.

Marrying Kai, was the last thing you wanted to do but even though you fought about it, you eventually had to cave. Especially when your mother burst into tears about how you were her only daughter and her only hope now. You didn't appreciate your parents trying to buy your happiness, but you always loved them because deep down, they cared for you. You weren't the only broken one from the loss of your sister – and sometimes you swore you could still hear your mom crying in the middle of the night over your sister.

So, you had to do this. You had to marry Kai, even if it would kill you. You had to be in the insurance business with both of the families even though all you wanted to do was draw and paint. Thankfully, your parents had still allowed you to go to school for art even if you wouldn't be able to follow those dreams. They paid for the online classes as long as you agreed to continue the family business. If only you knew that included Kai – you would have never agreed. Even if you weren't sure that you would have ever had a choice in the matter.

And that lead you to now, where you were walking down 'the aisle' in the largest church in the area. The place was decorated beautifully. Soft off-whites and gold decorated the already extravagant church interior. You took your time, walking step by step as your shoes crushed the white flower petals under your feet and clutching onto your father for dear life. You couldn't look at him or the people in the pews with their smiles and tears, so you looked through your veil and noticed all of the décors.

Inside, you hoped this wouldn't be your only wedding and that maybe one day, you could have an even more beautiful wedding to the person you truly loved – but even deeper inside, you knew it wasn't possible. You were marrying the monster who had left you with scarred wrists and a scarred heart but you had never told your parents that since they loved Jongin. How could you tell them about your suicide attempts when they had already lost one daughter? They would be crushed and you knew it. So, you did your best and fought your depression. It helped now that you were secretly on medication for it.

When your dad stopped you in front of Kai, you could instantly feel his heated presence. You wanted to hiss like an angry cat and book it for the exit but you couldn't. Everyone had agreed to this arrangement, everyone including Kai. That made you roll your eyes at the thought.

You blocked out the words around you and just followed the hand on your shoulder that guided you to stand in front of Kai. You didn't dare look at him, but being in his presence after so long, made tears come to your eyes when he grabbed your hands. You shook as you flicked your gaze away from the small diamonds on your veil to just past Kai where his best men were standing. You let out a shaky breath when you saw Minseok and Jongdae standing there among Kai and the other monsters. You tried to smile at them, but it only made you cry.

This choked the audience up, them assuming you were happily crying. They could think whatever they wanted, you didn't care. If only they all knew what Kai had done to you. Kai would be disowned for sure, your fathers' business would be dismantled, and you would be in a mental hospital. Good thing you didn't tell. You could give shits more about what happened to Kai or even yourself, what mattered to you was your parents. They needed this business. They didn't have much left.

Robotically repeating your vows after the family friend that was marrying you, you kept your eyes trained on Minseok – half wishing you could have been arranged to marry him instead. You choked out a small laugh through your tears and your half-assed vows.

Finally, Kai was to kiss his lovely bride and you pressed your eyes as tightly shut as you could. The kiss wasn't long, but you sure it was long enough for Kai to taste your tears – and you hoped he tasted your years of pain as well.

Your eyes were blurred when Kai pulled away and lifted your interlocked hands in the air as he walked you back down the aisle. Half way there, you shook so hard, you almost collapsed but Kai steadied you with a hand on your lower back making you want to cringe away. But you held it in. After all, you were your parents only daughter and even though you wanted another wedding – you knew this would be your only one.