C O R V U S

Rushing water. Sweat. Tears. Blood bleeding badly, heart hardly holding on, step after stunned step, crimson on the floor, I collapse.

Muffled mumbles, frozen floor, blurred blobs, black out. Sigh. Time skip. Bedroom. Who am I? Johanna? No... Amber. Gotta crawl out, do it again. It's fun to feel pain to mask emotions. To cover scars with open wounds. To show I'm strong enough to go through pain but not the same pain most people are used to. Stubborn, huh? C'mon, Emily. It's not that bad. Of course I will. You only speak to Nikolas anyways.

I'm myself again. Get up. Clean off the blood. Cover the wounds. Go to Nikolas. Therapy. An hour passes.

Back home. Alone. No, not alone. They go with me everywhere. Back on my bed. Pick up the phone. Who to call? Who else? Go get the razor again. Do it. Do it. Do it. Draw with it. Create a masterpiece. Dial the number. Know what? Never mind. Put the phone back. Set down the razor. Go back to bed. Can't sleep. Shut up! Dance? No, too tired.

Pause. Anxiety attack. Shadows. Voices. Screaming. Trembling. Suffocating. Agonizing pain. Whispers.

Play. Emotions. Fear. Sadness. Pain. 'Sensory Overload.' And, just like that, I can't feel a thing. Only a ball of darkness sits inside me. There's nothing. I am empty.

I have many alters. Or are they just hallucinations? It's hard to tell sometimes. Johanna came first. She's sassy, confident, quick to anger, protective. Next came Ana. She's eight years old and anorexic. She still somehow stays eight years old despite being with me for years. Autumn came third. She's a Brit, and the oldest of all of us. Her hair is even starting to gray. She maintains femininity and is our appointed 'protector.' Cathy is Southern, sweet, manipulative. If you strike the wrong chord with her, she'd bite your head off. Emily was the last to come. She's a selective mute. When she wants to talk, she'll whisper. Finally, Avery. The athlete, bossy, take-charge sort of girl. These girls are the only people I can trust. They're here to protect me, to prevent me from doing anything stupid. We're like one big nearly dysfunctional family.

"Why is she just laying there?" Johanna whines, ready to start the day. Her tall figure towers over my resting body. Water drips from my knuckles onto the wooden floor. My palm burns. Cold shivers run through my body.

"She is merely waiting, dear." Autumn looks out the window, her shoulders pulled back with her chin held high.

"Waiting for what?" Ana quips, drawing trees on my walls. I'm not bothered by her drawings anymore. She's just a kid, let her have her fun before she grows up.

"She's waitin' for the pain t' pass, duh," Cathy sasses. She stands across from Joanna, "She's done this every day since we showed up. Y'all should know this by now." I can feel her ice cold eyes staring into my eyelids. She's playing her intimidation game again, but this time I don't care.

"Shut up, Cath." Joanna bites back. She squints her eyes into dangerous slits, and stares down Cathy. Joanna always gets overprotective when someone talks down to us, even when that someone is each other.

"You know what, Joanna?"

"Stop fighting. Please!" Emily whispers from the bathroom.

"Why can't I have one peaceful morning?" I groan. My eyelids open, and I find everyone standing. They're eagerly waiting for me to start my day. I finally sit up. My bones decided to ache again, and my ears ring. Both are signs I've been poisoned. I wonder if Nikolas did end up poisoning me. I knew his cupcakes tasted weird. I know he wants me dead. Mother sure as hell wants me dead.

"If you didn't eat that cupcake, you wouldn't feel so bad!" Ana tells me, now standing right next to me.

"I know, Ana. We have to show Nikolas some sort of progress, though." I tell Ana. She's too young to understand lying. Emily opens the blinds with Autumn's help. The sudden blast of sunlight shines into my eyes, forcing me to squint. I pivot my body and plant my feet on the cool floor. I do my best to avoid the water, but I still get my socks a little wet.