More Than This : Negan's Daughter C.G

01

A|N UNDER EXTREME EDITING BECAUSE THIS BOOK IS SO OLD. Will be re-uploaded chapter by chapter until 100% completed. I changed the characters name too. 

     I am not proud of who I am. I should be the person that stops him. The one that stands up for the people that he hurts. But I am a coward, I am just as afraid of him as they are, only they don't realize it. They think that I am just like him. I have to act like he does, and laugh at their fear.
I have to be something I don't want to be, something that's not me, for the sake of my own life.

   Negan and my mother were together since high school. It seems crazy now to think that he was once a normal man with a normal job. He was a high school gym teacher, a friendly one. He used to play ping pong in the garage with his students. He was a good father back then too. He was always there, and now it's like I've never met him before and I find myself scared to even look at him. How did it ever get to be this bad?

   When I was nine years old I walked out into the garage to hear him swearing at some of his high school students. My memories of the day were very vague now, but I knew my mother had heard and started scolding him about cussing in front of me when she fell. She got quiet and collapsed, she was shaking. The next thing I knew my father was yelling. Yelling at the men in the ambulance for not letting me and him ride with her to the hospital. 

   I remember not fully understanding what the doctor was saying when he told us my mom was dying of cancer. My dad broke down and I cried because I didn't know what was happening. I was always too empathetic for my own good. He prayed for her to over come this, and it was one of the few times I had seen him, and no more prayers ever followed this. He had given them up. The days passed and everything got a thousand times worse.

    My parents would crack jokes and talk about anything but her decreasing health.
About a week after she was in the hospital people were screaming. The news was broadcasting about cannibals. One doctor came in and talked to Negan about leaving my mom. I screamed and started to cry as I clung onto her. We stayed while everyone else ran. We knew nothing of the outside world and neither of us cared. We stayed with my mom with the door barricaded until her last breath.

   Hours had passed where he was screaming for her to come back. He felt guilty beyond belief. They had been slowly drifting apart and he was unfaithful. With her being diagnosed he lost it, when she died?

    And then she came back.

   I went to run to her side the second I saw her moving again. I had been staring at her still figure for hours, willing her to move. She had. It was a miracle, I knew it was, but my father wouldn't let me near her. He held me back through all my struggling, staring at her and ignoring my pleas. She crashed after us and he drug me from the room like a mad man, crying out that this couldn't be true. We left her there, locked in that room. 

   I was too young to fully understand what had happened to the world then. But since then I'd been with him. I didn't notice it as it happened, but I knew overall he had been slipping away. Piece by piece, bit by bit, my father did not act like my father. The man I knew slowly morphed into someone, no, something, I could not recognize. The only similarity of my father to this man, was their one common goal to keep me alive. Even if it was out of habit now and nothing but hollow actions. 

   This stranger I traveled with did anything to survive, and with no laws or people to prohibit him, that could and had been pretty much anything. The lose of my mother destroyed him, and the fact that we left her there, in that state, tormented him further. Although I know he would never admit it, as he like to pretend she is nothing more than a name, I know he still thinks about that fact, every day.