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    In the morning, I was expecting a confrontation with my dad. But judging by the fact I woke up at nearly three in the afternoon, that wasn't going to happen.

   Worriedly, I get ready for the day. I go through the motions, but I know something is wrong. Negan should have sent someone to get me by now.

   The day after an introduction night, like last night with Rick's group, was always terrible for them and for me. But this was just different.

   I examine myself in the mirror for a minute, flinching as I run my fingers acrosd the nasty bruise on my cheek. I cover it the best that I can with the makeup I have. I put my combat boots on, load up on knives, and start out into the hall.

   With no destination in mind, I wander the plain, concrete halls. I end up on the roof.

   For a while I sit on the edge with my feet dangling, listening to the music on an old mp3 player. But peaceful moments don't last very long at the Sanctuary.

   There wasn't much scenery, and even though my music was blasting, it couldn't drown out the loud moans of the dead in the courtyard.

   Everyone that had made a big mistake or tried to run away, be a traitor, as my father called them, was killed and strapped or chained just outside the main gates. This was a show of force and a reminder to the Saviors what would happen. It also seemingly worked well at deterring more of the dead from crowding the front gates.

    For a while I stared at them, thinking about how far we've come. Most of it was in the wrong direction, but we were still alive, right? It was not all for nothing then, was it?

   I am alive because of my dad, because of the things he does. I get the sickening feeling in my stomach again, and look over the ledge. I did not want to be a part of this cycle anymore, I did not want these deaths to be on my hands.

   Many times I had come to this ledge in anticipation of things ending. But this grief that I felt, I deserved to feel. This story would not end if I wasn't here to see it. Negan would grow worse, I feared. No one would stop him. I was supposed to be the one to change things, I know that I was.

   I rip the head phones off as a truck from the Kingdom arrives back at the front gates. I hurry back inside, and down the ladder.

   I had no where to be, and no want to be anywhere with people. I would consider doing my job here, but I wasn't supposed to do anything today. Today was my free day, and I desperately kept wishing that it wasn't. I needed a distraction from the events of last night. From the faces that haunted me every time I shut my eyes.
  
   I settle myself in the shadows of a big tree, outside the fence, in the middle of the woods. I was far enough to still faintly hear the dead on the fence, but not too far that I would be in danger.

I take my Ruger apart. This was something I found myself doing more often than I needed, simply to keep myself busy. I clean the peices individually, and reassemble them like a complicated jigsaw.


  I think about before the world ended. Teenagers did not sit around and clean guns. Teenagers hung out with their friends and played video games or went shopping at the mall. Teenagers went roller skating and learned to drive on roads filled with other people. They worried about school.

   It's so strange to me that I had to let all of that go and worry about survival at the time I was ten years old. It felt childish to think about what I didn't get from my life, and even more childish that it upset me.

   I think about my parents and the family that the three of us had. It wasn't perfect, but compared to this, it was. I missed my mothers gentle voice desperately, and I no longer remembered the way it sounded.

  I wipe my eyes on my sleeve, chiding myself. There was no need for this behavior, it wouldn't change a thing. I hope that I didn't smear any of my makeup as I wander back inside the Sanctuary.

   As I pass the food carts, I grab a grab an apple off one and tell the person working there to write my name down instead of taking my time to do it like I would've normally.


Even this, we got from the other communities.

   The thought makes me pause for a moment and think of all the other civilizations we had taken over.

   Oceanside, The Hilltop, the deal with The Kingdom, and now Alexandria.

   Only Oceanside had escaped us, but not before we left a mark on them. They were lucky, and I was glad they at least had gotten away.

   To anyone else the halls of the Sanctuary were a maze, but to a few it was like a big open space that was easy to navigate.

   The only reason I know my way around is because I'd made a map of the entire place when we'd first gotten here, used it for the longest time, and now I don't even have to think as I walk the long corridors.

   Another left, and straight down the hall to a closed door is the medical room.
I stand waiting outside the door for Sherry, Dwight's wife.

   After a while Dwight shows up with the man that punched Negan last night. The one I tried to warn, and ended up hurt myself for. He has a sort of glare in his eyes as he looks at me.

   Why does Negan bring people back? Have they not suffered enough?

   "You okay kid?" Dwight asks before they head in, having noticed my mood.

  "Yep." I say and give a tight smile.

   He just nods and opens the door. Sherry is just getting up off the gurney when he shoves the man in. I step in the door way while I wait. She makes her way across the room and we walk side by side down the halls.


    I cast a glance back to see Dwight slam the door closed.

    Then I turn back to Sherry, "Why-" I start but she cuts me off.
   "His names Daryl. He's from the other group. Negan brought him back here to make sure the group didn't try anything. "

I should have known that was his plan.

    "Where are they keeping him?" I ask.
She looks at me hesitantly before asking why.
    "Just tell me, I'm not going to do anything stupid." I say. Because breaking him out isn't stupid.
  
   "Fine...down the jail hall, the second door on the left. They don't have guards by the doors but their locked."

  "That's all I need to know."

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 02, 2023 ⏰

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