I'll be okay, just not today. [Nochelle/Bryles]

- the breakup -

This is a new short story I'm writing, I doubt it will be more than 6 or 7 parts 💙 All the chapters will be written in the same POV. edit: I've kept in a lot of my original writing a/n as seen above just because I kind of like them but they don't really have any importance x

"What?" I said out of disbelief. I can't quite believe what he had just told me.

I turned the car radio off,  revealing a tense silence. After a while I broke the silence 

"You know the reason I wanted to get closer to you in the first place, was... to try to understand what you two felt for each other" I confessed, my voice shaking a little. 

"You and Amanda " I continued, "And I finally do." 

We haven't had a proper conversation in a long time, this was way overdue. 

"Yeah, what we felt" He replied, "Past tense, cause my future with Amanda is dead" He carried on. 

Poor Max, I haven't seen him this shaken in a long time. "I killed that myself" He added. 

I shift myself to the side of my seat and begin to stroke his arm. 

"Its okay, it's okay" I reassure him. I really wish my mind would just shut off at the moment. 

"There isn't room in my heart for two people... you were everything to me" he spoke up again. 

"I know" I replied. This is going to ruin Amanda. 

"And as devoted as I was to you throughout college, I understand you better now, how deeply you love" I continued on. 

He doesn't deserve all this guilt. He turned his head from the floor, towards me and looked me in the eyes and smiled. 

"You do understand me don't you" He said, sounding like he was stating it to himself. 

"Yes, Max, Now... I do. It's sad, but... beautiful" I replied, laughing a little towards the end to lighten the mood. "Like a pain, that, feels good, if that makes sense" I said, and he nodded in reply. 

"Yeah, you understand that my love will never fade" He responded. It sounds like he might be building towards something, maybe finally i'll get that ring? Ooh, I hope. 

"Now I know, you poor thing, you're a... romantic" I add, "And there is only room in your heart for-" I continue, but get abruptly cut off. 

"For her" He says, sounding relieved. 

I feel my face drop completely as he looks back down, while silence build between us again. He cannot be serious. After everything we've been through. I furrow my eyebrows slightly before speaking up again. 

"What?" I said out of disbelief. I can't quite believe what he had just told me. He looks up at me again, with a slightly confused expression on his face. 

 "What, the-" He tries to justify himself. 

"What do you mean her?" I say, my voice breaking towards the end. Is he really going to throw everything we have away, for her?

"Listen," he continues again. I'm not taking this. 

"What about me?" I say, growing towards anger quickly. 

"Yeah, no, I mean in thee- erm the" he stumbles over his words slightly before continuing, "In college, you were my whole world, but-" 

"But?" I cut him off. He is really starting to piss me off. "But what, Max?" I say louder this time, clearly annoyed.

 "It's just, I only mean that, eh, Amanda" There's that name again. This where I lose my shit. 

"NO!" I scream at him, clearly catching him of guard. 

"Okay, all right, look calm down, calm down, we're just talking" He says scared, talking over my heavy breathing. 

"NO." I shout again. I don't know what has come over me, but I am ANGRY. "I HAVE CLAWED MY WAY THROUGH THIS WORLD, WORKED MYSELF TO THE BONE, TO HAVE A CHOICE, TO HAVE A LIFE, AND PROVIDE FOR MYSELF, AND TO HAVE FREEDOM, AND LOVE, AND UGH!" I scream at him again and towards the end I grab him by the shoulders, not making any sense, clearly scaring him. Good. 

"Okay, please, please just remember the sensation we had when we were helping people, let's... let's just return to that mood" He says obviously nervous. I shouldn't be enjoying this, but I am, Beyond belief. 

"I chose you" I spoke loudly, more upset this time. I see the fear growing in his eyes, each second it become greater and greater. "I chose you, now you chose me!" I said angrily, I know I'm not making sense, but I need to let this out. 

"That's not how it works, you can't control everyone anymore, this isn't high school" He said, while trying to push my arms that were on his shoulders away. Now I just need to say this, even though I don't really mean it. 

"Watch! We WILL build a life together, whether you want to or not!" I shouted. Now I'm scaring myself a little. 

"NO!" He exclaimed, matching my voice level and pushing my hands off of him. 

"You'll regret this" I said, in a quieter, lower voice. With that, I grab my purse and leave the car. I do a less than ladylike hand gesture at him before slamming the door, and watching him drive away. That was really over dramatic, I kind of thought, I could scare him into staying with me, just for this one night. Tonight was meant to be the night my family met the boyfriend they didn't believe existed. My sister had just gotten engaged and I was always being compared to her, always the underachiever. This was meant to be the time I got to prove them wrong. But I guess I'm just not that lucky.

I walk into the house, not greeting my father, as he opens the door, clearly confused by my angry, tear stained face. I see the rest of my family and friends sitting in the living room. More importantly, I see wine. I burst through some people and my mother calls my name questioning what was going on. "So, Congrats to my little sister, Abby, on getting engaged I guess, and no, mom, you shouldn't be expecting that from me, cause uh, You know Max? The boyfriend you didn't believe existed? Yeah he just dumped my ass in his car, for my college roommate. Isn't that just perfect. Screw it, let's get drunk." I say exasperated. I look round to see a mix of disappointed faces from my family, and looks of shock from neighbours and friends. Oh whatever. I pick up a bottle on the table and begin to drink... time to drown out this pain.

My name is Richelle Nolet, and this is the story of me, getting over that loser, Max and finding myself, I guess. I've never really known what that meant. I hope you all enjoy reading about my humiliating experiences, and laughing at my pain and suffering. But first, I need a drink.

I really hope you guys enjoyed this part, I can't wait to update more! 💙
1192 words started May 31st 2017