I'll be okay, just not today. [Nochelle/Bryles]

- knowing it's okay to still love them -

3pm. I've been working at home a lot recently, I've gotten into a new routine and I've been a surprisingly more productive writer than ever, ever since I started free lance writing for an online arts magazine. I hear the noise of the sent email notification as I submit my second piece of the day. Work's been a really good distraction lately, keeping my mind off Amanda and Max. I stand up from my chair and stretch a bit. It's been a pretty long day already. I think I deserve a break. 

After about twenty minutes of scrolling through Instagram I see a message pop up on my phone. I click on it to view the full message - 'Girls night tonight! No boys allowed! You in?' from Michelle. Why not, I don't have anything better to do. I reply with an enthusiastic 'YESSS!' and we arrange the plans for tonight. I guess tonight will be more than pizza and a movie for the first time in a while. 

9pm. I spent just a little bit too long getting ready and ended up missing Giselle's many texts telling me that they were outside in the taxi. Oops. I'm only made aware after hearing banging on my front door that I have to half run down the stairs in heels to stop. I swing the door open to see Michelle with a look of annoyance on her face. 

'We've been waiting for 15 minutes!' She exclaims. Okay this is totally my fault but I'm going to act like it isn't.

' Okay, okay, let me grab a jacket and we'll go! Someone's angry' I say teasingly and she can't help but crack a smile. I grab my jacket and turn the house lights off before following Michelle out the door and into the taxi, to greet all the girls. I see Giselle and Stephanie sat in the back and I greet them with an enthusiastic 'hi' as I get in. 

' The others are meeting us there' Michelle says, from the front passenger seat.

'Okay, where are we going tonight, I should've asked you' I respond to her, trying to secure my seat belt and helplessly failing multiple times.

'It's that place downtown, Jesters' Giselle replies, saving me from myself and doing my seatbelt up. 

'Jester's?' I respond questioningly. That name seems so so so familiar. I just can't place it right now. Michelle takes over the aux cord and we spend the short taxi ride dancing and shouting along to our favourite songs. We're gonna have to tip this Uber driver a LOT, I'd hate to be driving us. We pull up to the club and we all start to get out, thanking the driver as we leave. I sort my dress and bag out and look up to the club facade. Oh no. Jesters. It clicked - this is where me and Max first met. I was with Amanda at the time, we were in college. I had gone up to get a drink and turned abruptly causing Max to knock into me pouring it all over me. It was completely my fault, but as usual I acted like it wasn't, but I felt bad as he started apologising profusely, handing me napkin after napkin to clean up, and buying me another drink. Of course I forgave him but that night he didn't go home with me, he ended up in Amanda's bed. We still became friends and anytime I brought it up to him he insisted it was a one night drunken thing and we started to date. I had always loved this club for that, but now I don't know how much, if any of it was true. Now this club just brings back bad memories. My realisation must have appeared on my face, as I'm broken from my thought by Michelle nudging my arm.

'What's up? You look sad' She says bluntly. I guess I can always trust her to be direct at least.

'It's nothing. It's just... I thought the name sounded familiar and now I remember...' I say trailing off and looking down. I don't really want to talk bout this right now, I don't even know why it hurts, I thought I was past this. I look up to see all the girls looking at me, expectantly, clearly waiting for me to finish my story. Ugh I guess I have to give them something.

'It's just that... me and Max met here. It just clicked.'

I see the faces around me change as they don't know what to say. As Giselle goes to speak, she's interrupted by Emily, Riley and Chloe walking up excitedly to us, shouting 'Girl's night out' together. I give a week smile to them but they won't let that slide.

'What's up with miss misery here?' Emily asks Michelle, pointing over to me.

'Hey!' I reply, acting offended, but it's fair.

'Her and Max met here' Michelle responds quickly, with an unreadable expression. 

'And?' Emily responds. I look at her, eyebrows slightly furrowed, and the others do to, probably not wanting her to possibly offend me.

'Forget him! At least for tonight. Tonight is for new memories. Girls night out!' She shouts enthusiastically. It's hard to argue with that sentiment. I take a moment to think about what she said and look up. My expression slowly fades to a smile and I have to echo her sentiment tonight.

'Girls night out!' I shout in response, and the rest of the Girls reply shouting 'Girls night out!' in unison. We walk into the club and I'm intent on having fun tonight. No Max. No Amanda. I know that I said and keep saying how much I hate them. But it's hard to spend so long with someone and have it suddenly ripped away. Yes, I hate Max but part of me still loves him. But tonight I'm intent on putting that aside and having fun with my best friends.

1000 words

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