Happier

3

Camila really, really, really doesn't want to do this.

Lauren is looking at her with her big stupidly gorgeous green eyes and Camila knows she can't do this- she cannot spend a week in Seattle with those eyes.

Fuck Ally for making her do this. 

Also, she feels guilty because Lauren just told her that she has social anxiety, and Camila is still so mad at Lauren for breaking her heart but how can she be mad when Lauren's clearly struggling with things that are everyday for other people?

And Lauren's being so sweet to her. It reminds Camila of high school, of times where Lauren would charm her into blushing all the time, and even though Camila Cabello doesn't blush that was all Karla Estrabao did when Lauren was around.

"I'm going to Seattle next week," she says plainly, watching as Lauren's eyebrows furrow. "Ally says you have to come with me."

She can physically see Lauren swallow. "Um, any particular reason why?"

Camila shrugs. "I have a lot of friends there." She doesn't say any more than that; she doesn't feel like she needs to.

"O-okay." Lauren nods, accepting, and then she asks, "So, what genre are you thinking for the book?"

"Something horror would be cool." Camila loves horror novels- she's a sucker for Stephen King in particular; she thinks he's an absolute genius. But she's written horror novels before. Maybe it's time to change it up.

Plus, she notices Lauren grimace at the suggestion, so she guesses Lauren's not a big fan.

"Or romance?" Lauren's cheeks grow red following Camila's words. She raises an eyebrow. "Is that okay with you?"

"Oh, yeah, that's totally fine." Lauren's speaking too fast, nearly tripping over the words. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Camila produces a pen and a small black moleskin notebook out of her bag, flips to a new page, and is just about to write the word "romance" at the top when Lauren questions, "Did we have any classes together in high school?"

Camila's pen pauses at the top of the page. She wasn't really expecting that question. "Yes." She decides to keep it simple.

Lauren's lips part.  "Okay, wait. If we had classes together there's no way I didn't know you. I made it a point to learn who everyone was in my classes." She seems to have forgotten how shy she was acting before- everything concerning high school, Camila notes, seems to be a confident topic to Lauren.

"Yeah, you sure did," she mutters, slightly bitter. Lauren's determined expression turns to one of shock. "Now I definitely know we knew each other. Did we hook up? Is that it? Because if it is I'm so, so, so sorry; I know I was a fuckgirl and I messed with girls a lot but I swear-"

"Jesus Christ!" Camila literally chokes on her own spit. "We didn't hook up! Oh my god, Lauren."

Lauren seems to remember herself because she retreats, blushes, and murmurs, "Oh. Sorry."

Camila doesn't know why she's pushing this so much. No one from high school ever recognizes her- it's not like she takes offense to that. How could she? She changed her name, cut and dyed her hair, gained some weight ('cause she was scary thin in high school), grew a couple inches, fixed her teeth, stopped wearing glasses, started wearing makeup- the list goes on and on. Not to mention her demeanor and personality now is basically unrecognizable to anyone who knew the awkward, nerdy, overeager Karla Estrabao. As far as Camila's concerned, she might as well be a completely different person.