Memory Trails

Chapter 1

 

It all started when I first joined the Survey Corps. I was scared for life, wanting to run away to the other side of the world, where no titan will be present. But, that was nearly impossible if you were inside the walls, trapped, no where to hide from those monsters. Those bastards that came in and broke my hometown, my mother, my family. Both of my parents are gone, all I had left was Mikasa and Armin. And if they weren't around, I don't know what I would be doing right now. Probably cattle, dead. Dead in the mind of the walls. No one would moarn over me...

We all got rooms, either shared or alone if you were special. No, I was with a lot of the friends I have now, and the ones who betrayed me. Me and my comrades. Then there are the ones who unluckily passed on...Damn. It has been a while.

I was barely 15 years old at the time, being the stupid teen as always, getting into fights, problems, that only I could get into. Mikasa and Armin were always there, even in my worst mood. Removing any sharp object I had around me, for safety measures. That was a game changer for me. What I was confused in is why my cuts easily went back to my normal skin, showing nothing the next morning. But that was good for me, because Mikasa and Armin would often check my arms, as well as my legs. But, I stopped as soon as possible once I started thinking more about my mother...

I decided to go on strong and fight for her. I was mad, I was upset. I went bizarre when it went to going to kill titans. Most of my comrades noticed that, especially Jean, Mikasa, Armin, Sasha, and Connie. Later on, it was Erwin, Hanji, Levi, and the rest of the Levi squad. I can't even name them anymore. Levi would often help out with calming myself down, and reducing my anger. It all worked. It made me feel more sentimental about certain situations, making me cry and scream. Levi was always there and still is...

"Eren."

"H-Huh?"

I whip my head to my left to see heicho standing at my doorway. I was laying down on my back, staring up at the ceiling...thinking.

"Breakfast."

"What about it? Hasn't breakfast hour ended already?"

"Yeah it has, but managed to get at least half an hour with just us and Hanji."

I waved a hand dismisively, "I'll be there in a bit..."

Levi scoffed, arms folded, as he stood his ground in the doorway. I sigh, then place myself back to laying on the bed, and curled myself to the left side. I didn't hear any footsteps move away, I only heard them approaching. Levi got into view and I made a frown, as I hid my face away with my arms, facing ninety-degree flat. I felt weight add on next to me, I decided to peek. Levi had laid down next to me, his face almost near my arms. I quickly close my arms completely, making him sigh.

"Eren. Something's bothering you."

"No. There's no something."

"Yes there is, brat."

I grumble as he gets closer. I shake my head, still hiding my face.

"You're really gonna try me."

"Yes."

"Jeager."

"A-cker-man."

"That's it."

With that, he pushes my side, making me fall flat on my back. Though, I decide to keep my face covered. Levi then gets on top of me, and removes my arms from my face and places them atop of my head with one hand. My face turns into a pink, as I make a frowny face at him. He smirks.

"You won't tell me anything."

"I still," I kick my legs up in the air and they fall back down, "won't say a thing."

"Ugh, I swear you act like a literal brat."

I stick out my tongue at him playfully, but he ends up ruffling my hair.

"Levi-"

"No. Tell me what's bothering you."

"Not until you get off."

He squints his eyes at me, letting my hands go as he gets off. I try to make an escape, but he ends up grabbing a hold of my arm and starts pulling me towards him. I let out a long sigh as he pulls me between his legs. Levi then wraps his arms around my waist, and I collapse lazily at his chest. I look up at him and he gives me a glare. I put my head back down in shame and stare at my straps on my legs.

"Levi..."

"Yeah."

"Am I important."

"Are you seriously asking that question."

I nod as he sighs.

"Really, humanity's hope is asking me this."

I nod.

"Look, I don't see why you're asking me this. What's up with this question now. Did anyone tell you otherwise?"

"No..."

"Then."

"I told myself otherwise."

"Why, Jaeger."

"Because...I've been depressed lately."

"I've noticed."

"You have?...No, you haven't."

"Yes I have. Just decided you to bottle it all in till you tell me everything. And that's today."

"Fine...Levi, I feel as if...as if..."

"As if what?"

"As if I'm just being a bother..."

"How are you a bother when you have saved many of your comrades-"

"And killed many along the way."

Levi sighs, resting his head on top of mine. I grab his hand and hold it tight. I hold it up to my face, and let out a choked sob. Tears start flowing down my face, and I close my eyes shut.

"W-Why Levi..."

"Shh. It's okay to remember."

"Petra-"

"I know...you've been remembering them haven't you."

I nod as I continue to sob, as Levi plays around with my hair.

"Just let it out...They're in a better place now..."

"I-I know...but why s-s-so soon?"

"God wanted them early..."

"I want them b-back..."

I cling onto his right arm, holding it against my chest. I open my eyes again and see that I've folded my legs up to my chest as well. Levi is rocking me side to side, making me feel better.

"Shh, brat. They're still with us..."

"Levi..."

"Eren..."

"I," I sniff, closing my eyes, "thank you..."

"You're welcome..."

"Levi..."

"Yeah, Eren..."

"I l-love you..."

"I love you, too..."