Paper Lives (Kuroshitsuji [Black Butler] fanfiction)

Chapter one: A Sense of Unease

I woke up. It was as simple as that, the opening of my eyes and the long process of shrugging off sleep. If I could go back and change it, I would have. But that’s the funny thing about time; we can’t change what happened, no matter how much we want to.

On that morning, I woke up and felt I a distinct sense of unease. I knew I was where I was supposed to be, in my bed, in my room. It looked the same, the most modern decor available in the 18th century, with a four poster bed and paneled walls, dull colors. But there was something amiss. I couldn’t put my finger on it. The feeling stayed with me as I went across the hall to the washroom and freshened up. That’s odd, I guess the washroom has always been here… Right? I dismissed it as morning grogginess.
Throughout the rest of the morning, I constantly caught myself forgetting where things were. The strangest was during breakfast when I saw father. I knew he was my father, I remembered the memories we made together. Then why did he seem so out of place?

“Don’t forget,” I heard him call from the dining room. “you’re meeting with the Earl Phantomhive  at noon.” I entered and sat at the long table next to him.

“Yes. I think I remember. His name is Ciel, right?” I said. He nodded, studying the newspaper in front of him.

“And you’ll make a good impression, won’t you?” His tone was light, but I heard the unspoken order. I smiled graciously to hide my disappointment. He had always been this way.

“Yes father. If you’ll excuse me, I need to get ready.” He waved a hand at me.

“Of course, of course. I had that maid girl bring in a new dress that’s sure to impress him.” I cringed slightly. The ‘maid girl’ he referred to, Nina, was a bit… Overdramatic. I hoped she picked something decent and proper, not like those new scandalous dresses that came above the ankle.

“Thank you father. I’m sure it’s lovely. You’re ever so kind.” I said, the words so sweet I thought I would choke on them. I wished he didn’t like praise so much, it was tedious to worship everything he did. However, I knew that if I didn’t, I’d get on his bad side, a place I did not want to be.

“I’m only looking out for you, my dear. Run along now.” He said, looking smug at my praise. I gave a quick curtsey and left. On the long walk back to my chambers, I recalled why he was this way. If only he hadn’t lost her, if only he didn’t marry an old crone and get her fortune when she died. I missed my mother, of course. And so did he. She had kept his pride in check, he had kept her overly kind heart from breaking. That was a delicate balance, one that toppled easily when she died. I shook off the memories and slammed open the door to my room.

“Oh! My apologies, Mistress, I didn’t hear you.” Nina leaped in fear. I forced a smile.

“It’s quite alright, just don’t let it happen again.” I said, crossing the room on stockinged feet.

“Now, father told me you have a dress chosen for my meeting with the Earl?” She smiled and clapped her hands when I said this.

“You're going to adore it!” She squealed. She rushed to the wardrobe and with a great flourish presented me with the most ghastly thing I'd ever seen. Red plaid bows lined the frilly crimson skirt which had six lace flounces. I shook my head.

"I most certainly will not wear such a thing. Take it away and, on my orders, do not tell my father. Do you understand?" I demanded. She lowered the dress and her shoulders slumped.

"Yes Ma'am. But what will you wear?" She said, worry evident in her wavering voice. I opened the door for her and gently pushed her back.

"That's none of your concern. Goodbye." I shut the door after her and locked it. I despised having people help me, I much rather preferred doing things myself. I removed my dressing gown and donned my undergarments. When I opened the closet, I found a line of dresses, each one fine and beautiful. I recognized them but I had the strangest feeling that they weren't mine. I picked a simple one, I think it was my favorite, though I hadn't many opportunities to wear it. A pale blue bodice with a creamy white skirt, the stitching outlined my figure slightly, tapering at the waist before flaring into a modest skirt. I slipped into it before realising I wouldn't be able to do up the laces. With a heavy sigh, I rang the silver bell on my nightstand, signaling Nina that I needed assistance. Within moments I heard her footsteps. She knocked and I let her in.

"You will assist me in dressing and styling my hair." She nodded and had me all ready in a quarter of an hour.

"Oh, Miss, you look lovely." She smiled dreamily. "And if you'll pardon me saying so, but that Earl would be a lucky fellow indeed to have you." She chuckled. I blushed at her words.

"Mind your station, Nina." I quickly left my room. Father was waiting in the reception hall, he smiled when he saw me.

"You look lovely, darling. Perhaps lovely enough to catch the eye of a royal." He laughed a little and took my arm. "The Earl will certainly be impressed by you." Those were his parting words after he handed me into the coach. I settled down for the long ride to the Phantomhive manor.

What would the Earl look like? The last man father had wanted me to marry was a duke, nearly three times my age. Of course, I was only thirteen. I hoped the Earl was younger. The rest of the ride I spent reading one of my favorite novels, occasionally glancing out the window. When at last we arrived, I could not help but gape at the size of the place. They had nearly twice as much land and a four story mansion. No wonder father wanted his attention and money. Seeing someone step out of the massive oak doors, I quickly composed myself.

"My lady, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am Sebastian and I shall be escorting you to the young master's private study for tea." I took his extended hand and stepped delicately from the coach.

"The pleasure is all mine, kind sir. I am Lady Irena, delighted to make your acquaintance. Thank you." He led me up a grand red-carpeted stairway to a large door. Immediately after he knocked a voice responded.

"Enter."

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Hello, new reader! Before we begin, I'd like to say that this is a rough draft that I wrote at eleven PM. If you enjoyed it, please tell me and I'll continue posting the rest of it. Until then, please critique my writing. I desperately need it and I would greatly appreciate any feedback you have!