| jae min |
--
two weeks.
it took two weeks before i had the courage to become more than i am. two weeks since i got namjoon's number. two weeks since i felt normal.
it all went too fast. we talked about many random, small things. nothing too personal, which i find comfort in. and he gives me my space whereas i give him his. well, up until recently, his texts become more frequent, more personal. i had no idea how to respond.
♡
《k.namjoon 《
do you think we could meet up at the same coffee shop we first met?
i have something to discuss with you.
》jae.min》
sure i guess. tomorrow good?
《k.namjoon 《
yeah
♡
i felt anxious. negative thoughts clouded my mind and my judgment. at first, i thought he was angry so that night, i cried myself to sleep. i dont know why i would think hes angry, but my anxiety surely had provoked my frail mind. it was around three in the morning before i settled comfortably under my covers, my tear stained face locked into a restless slumber.
the next morning, i did not want to get up. i wanted to lie there forever, not see people. i could move out of the country for good and people would not go look for me. i had nothing going on, but a noise came from my phone. i looked at it and there were many messages from my social network accounts.
it was a lot of feedback from various rumours that sprung up and developed over the past two weeks. it had died down just a tad bit but it was another rumour that got me to curl up on my bed.
"bts's kim namjoon is rumoured to have a secret girlfriend and that girlfriend is rumoured to be im jae min." - allkpop
it was silly to believe such rumours, especially from allkpop, but i was gullible and naive. i had several messages that i dared not to look. i had many people tweeting at me and several thousand people followed me.
i hyperventilated.
after several minutes, i went and got ready for the day.
it was nearing noon. with my hair brushed out of my unruly face and put up into a high ponytail, i slowly made my way out of the apartment complex. i was greeted with the chilling summer breeze. goosebumps lined the spine on my back reaching from down to my buttocks to the nape of my neck. something bad was going to happen, i could feel it.
the walk to the coffee shop felt a lot longer than usual. the sun above me felt like it judged me in every single way. the harsh rays beat down onto my olive skin. it was a good thing i remembered to take my sunglasses with me otherwise the day would be even worse than it already was.
i finally made it to the shop, slowly entering. it was quiet inside. only employees were in there. i saw the manager and he gave me a look i did not recognize. pity? i dont know. i went to my usual spot, one that ive always sat in for the past 4 years. anxiety soon pooled in, and ive tried to keep it at bay by people watching. it helped somewhat. after a few minutes, i received a message.
♡
《kim namjoon 《
are you at the coffee shop now?
