just children once ✓

empty seat, no way that's me

Jk this is the last chapter.

<8:00 am, Sunday>

Graduation day. Still no sign of Josh.

Tyler was on the brink of a meltdown, checking and rechecking Josh's empty seat three rows ahead of him. Abigail, who sat beside Josh's seat, bit at her manicured nails anxiously, turning and meeting Tyler's eyes every once in a while.

They'd spent the past few days searching everywhere within a drivable distance from Dallon's house. His family was distraught thinking they were the reason he ran away. Dallon was thoroughly convinced that the fight between Jordan and Tyler wasn't why he ditched, but that it was just the last straw.

Looking back at everything that had occurred since Tyler and Josh started talking again, it was evident that he planned on running away from the get go. He just needed something to put that weight on.

"Where the hell is he?" Tyler muttered under his breath, rubbing his shaking hands together. Abigail swapped seats with the boy beside Tyler, squeezing his arm softly.

"He'll show. I'm sure," she said, smiling stiffly. "He wouldn't miss your big speech."

He'd completely forgotten about his speech with the horrors going on that week. Tyler slapped his forehead.  "I forgot my cards in my jacket. Fuck, I'm a complete idiot," he groaned.

Abigail pulled out a stack of note cards and handed them to Tyler. "You're welcome." Tyler sighed in relief and kissed her cheek. "You are an absolute angel. What would I do without you?"

"Get into fistfights with my brother, drink, almost get laid, and go on a wild goose chase for my other brother who you like, apparently."

"I do not have a crush on him," Tyler protested. "It's just- its complicated." Abigail clicked her tongue playfully. "And we weren't complicated at first?"

"Touché."

He was glad for the distraction, but they could only flirt platonically for so long until the issue presented itself again- Josh was still not here.

The principal walked up to the podium and instructed everyone to go to their assigned seats as the graduation was starting. Abigail returned to her seat, and Tyler tuned out the long speeches and names being called.

"Abigail Dun."

Tyler blinked and looked up. Abigail stood and ducked her head down, avoiding eye contact as she walked up the steps and snatched her diploma.

"Joshua Dun."

A wave of silence developed them. Tyler's chest tightened and the seat remained empty.

"C'mon, Josh. Show up.Please show up. Just this once," Tyler whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. "Do this one thing for me."

He opened his eyes, half- expecting to see the Nothing.

Mrs. Williams, who was reading out the names, wiped her eyes and excused herself. Another teacher took her place and continued.

"Tyler Joseph."

Tyler stood on shaky legs, stumbling to the podium and grabbing the diploma. The teacher gave him a sad smile. "I'm sorry about your friend."

He shrugged. "Not everyone could show up." He tried to act casual, but he was visibly shaking. Tyler stood on the side, zoning out for the rest of the calling until someone shook his shoulder.

"Tyler? Your speech?"

Tyler blinked and nodded, focusing his eyes on the podium. He stood in front of it, picking nervously at the back of his hand.

"Uh- hi. I'm- I'm Tyler Joseph. The- uh- the valedictorian. But you- you probably already knew that. Ha- uh- so."

Tyler took a deep breath and looked over his card.

Focus, Tyler. Don't freak out now.

"High school was tough, more specifically the last three weeks. Lots of ups and downs and in between packed into twenty one days. For example, you may have heard of the car accident my dear friend Josh and I were in the other day. You may also notice that he'd not here."

Tyler chuckled. "Sorry, I'm nervous. I may not seem like that all time, probably because I'm too busy trying to pass that damn fitness gram pacer test."

Bubbles of laughter came from the audience. It wasn't much, but a start.

"See, I have social anxiety. I have anxiety attacks, I used to hate speaking, and at one point I tried to take my own life."

Silence.

"Don't act surprised. I'm not the only one. Ryan, Jasper, Hannah, Josh. They all felt hopeless at one point, as did I. I know you have all felt that, like you could fall and nobody would hear.

I was so focused on grades and life after high school that I didn't focus on what I had right now. But Josh showed me what I was missing. The same Josh that left me here. And I hope I did the same for him. I hope I gave him something to live for.

So let that lonely feeling wash away. You can start over whenever you need. Maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay. When you're not strong or you feel like ending it all, just call out. I promise you someone will hear.

You're not weak for asking for help. In fact, that means you're strong enough to asses your weaknesses and fight them. You are not lost because our lives are just getting started. We are just getting started. You are not alone. There are people going through similar things. Not exact copies, but enough for you to make it alive after graduation.

I want you all to promise me that you will make it alive. That you will be more than what you are right now. I can't lose anyone else. Thank you."

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END OF BOOK 1

just children once completed Thursday, June 1st, @ 10:49 am

<THE END>