Chapters of Dai

As an addict

I'll press my hand against my chest to prevent my heart from falling out onto the cold concrete floor. Needing someone isn't beautiful or romantic, it's painful. So painful that eventually you get so caught up in loving them that you almost forget to love yourself.
I kept telling myself I loved you when deep down I knew I wasn't over my addiction. I craved that needle filled with my high at night. I longed for the tingles that filled my lungs from a green plant I inhaled that summer. I longed to hear the slurred words that came from my mouth when I drank that liquid poison. I craved for my synthesis to be clogged with the white powder I bought behind my uncles old van. I craved to forget your name with all of these deadly solutions.
On certain occasions I would pretend you were the drug I took every night.
I'd let you flow through my body, my mind, and my heart all at once. But the truth hit me harder then the drugs ever did.
Truth is you don't love me. And you never did. I was your way of passing time. Till a better offer came by.
As an unhappy addict I will roam the streets looking for a stronger solution. Along the way my body will shake making me aware that it missed you. My mind will fill with ideas of how I could buy your drug once more. Even if I don't want it. My heart will become sluggish and it's beat will have no rhythm.
You are no longer my drug. You are no longer flowing through my body. You are no longer anything but a name.

<Here's a little something more, just incase you did like what I wrote in my last    chapter ❤️>