The Answer

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“I know you worry about her and you are overloading your mind with her, hyung. I am not trying to be rude but you are our leader. Our concert is just next week. We need our leader back. She is also our friend, Sunggyu hyung. I just hope that if we are going to invite her over, we better show her the best we can do.” He had a point. It made Sunggyu feel bad that he was being so selfish towards everyone. 

“Feel better soon, hyung,” Sungyeol said as he walked out with Hoya and Dongwoo, leaving the quiet leader with his own space.

Sunggyu stared at the outside world trying to wreck his brains on how he should help you recall your memories. Especially that one important part of your memories that you had lost after the accident – him.

Yes it was his fault for kissing you out of the blue the last time you both met up. He felt that he could not control his emotions anymore, like he was losing you when you were there in front of him. You recalled almost everything except his existence in your life. Nearly losing you to the tragedy and seeing you in comatose for a month already left him with dashed hopes. Sunggyu never felt so hopeless in his life. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” He remembered you said. “Maybe we should just distant ourselves from each other for the time being.” Those words were like salts rubbed on the open wound in his heart. He had put so much effort aside from his schedules to be with you only to be turned away. The pain in his heart grew unbearable, if he could, he would have probably cut open his chest and threw his heart away so he will be emotionless. He yearned so much for your love that it was suffocating him so much.

“One last time,” Sunggyu told himself and then took a deep breath. “One more chance, Sara. Give me one more chance.”

“Sara!” your mum called your name from the kitchen. It knocked you out of your daydream about the kiss you had with Sunggyu the other time and your aching heart. You answered her and made your way to the kitchen. Your mum was beaming as she hugged you. 

“How are you today?” she asked after observing your unusual facial expressions. 

“Oh, I’m good. I just have a lot of thinking to do these days,” you confessed.
“Take it slowly, honey,” your mum handed you some juice. “Anyway, Hana just called me. Her brother Sungyeol is inviting us to Infinite Concert! My first virgin concert!”

INFINITE Concert. Kim Sunggyu. You nearly choked on your juice.

“You always love going to Infinite concerts,” your mum continued. “Maybe we should buy them some good food as a form of gratitude for putting away some time to visit you when you were hospitalized,” she suggested happily.

“Are… we really going to the concert?” you hesitated. “I mean I know my best friend just invited us and all but, I… I don’t feel like going, Mum.” You sighed. 

“Why, dear? Did you fight with Hana? Or the boys?” your mum asked. “Sunggyu?”

There, she finally touched the sensitive issue.

“Um, I think I will just think about it again and tell you if I change my mind,” you took off and locked the door behind you. Your heart raced so fast upon the mention of Sunggyu’s name. Your head and heart hurt because you could not make a decision whether to accept him or deny him from your life. Just who was he and how was he a part of your life? It was a multi-million dollar question.

.

“Oh, Sara, you need to come! You know you want to!” Hana whined over the phone. You were still as indecisive as ever. “The boys are anticipating your attendance! You wouldn’t wanna disappoint me, do you? It’s my brother’s band anyway.” You played around with your fingers while you tried to decide again. As if it was not enough, you then rolled around your bed restlessly. Not sure why Sunggyu kept appearing in your head. 

“Ugh, this is so frustrating, Hana!” you cried. “I know they are my friends too but…”

“But what?” Hana asked. “Did you fight with any of them? Or the time Sunggyu sent you home? Did you fight with him?”

A part of you wanted to tell Hana what happened that night and a part of you felt like you need not tell her. But Hana was your best friend. You shrugged and finally told her about the kiss and how you felt about it.

“Hana, whoever Sunggyu was to me, I can’t seem to recall at all and it is so annoying to the extent that I feel like I am going crazy everytime you all talk about Infinite and all I see is his face floating in my head,” you lamented. The struggle was real.

There was a long silence on the other side of the line before you heard Hana sighed. “Then trust me. Just go to the concert. Maybe you will be able to recall how close you are to Infinite, Sara. Look, I’ve got to go. I love you and see you there!” she hung up. Your face fell and you lay in bed with your arms spread wide. The last thing you wanted to do was to let your best friend down. Maybe even if you planned to go, it would be because Hana and Sungyeol had been your close friends since young. You finally came to a decision.

Swear trickled down Sunggyu’s temple as he spent hours perfecting the very song that meant a lot to him. It was the song that he played for you every single day in your comatose state. It was the song that he once sang a snippet of when you were on the line with him. He remembered being his awkward self, trying to sing it properly as you listened attentively but he went out of tune and made you laugh. His fingers were already bruised from strumming the guitar and he had skipped his meals as he listened to the song over and over again, stuck in his own world. 

“This has to be it,” he mumbled to himself and continued to finger the guitar. 

“Oppa, you have been doing this for almost 12 hours now. At least eat something,” Hana whined. She place food packets on the floor and got the other boys to eat. It was unusually quiet as they just observed Sunggyu doing his thing. There was no mood to practice the dance although Sunggyu told them to do it without him. 

“I’m not hungry,” Sunggyu replied swiftly. 

“I’m not hungry or I am not okay?” Hana asked sarcastically. “You two are really difficult people. Oppa, why did you even…?”

Sunggyu stopped strumming and turned to look at her. “She told you what happened?”

“What happened?” the boys interrupted. Hana sighed then cracked up as soon as she saw Sunggyu blush. As she opened the story that you told her, everyone began to side eye Sunggyu.

“Hyung,” Myungsoo facepalmed. “I know you are dying to let her know your status in her life… but how can you just kiss her like that?” He cracked up as he imagined the scenario in his head. “Of course she got freaked out!”

“Now I’m not sure if she will go for the concert,” Hana pouted and stabbed her tteokbokki with the fork. “She has been contemplating. Even her mum finds it difficult to psycho her decision-making.”

Sunggyu slouched when he heard that. “Yeah it is my entire fault for trying to shove the fact into her face. That’s why I am trying to make it up to her.” He became fidgety and then reached for his phone.

Hi Sara. I am really sorry about what happened the other time. I know I should apologise sooner but you know the awkward and coward man I am. Umm… >_< I would like to personally invite you to Infinite Concert happening this Saturday and I really really really hope that you can come and watch us. You used to say you would want to attend all of our concerts till the end. I hope you will enjoy this one a lot. See you. –Kim Sunggyu

You almost could not believe the text message you received. It was half apologetic, half hopeful and you found it funny and witty. This Kim Sunggyu. He could be very awkward sometimes. Somehow the text message made you feel better. You actually found it so cute that you wish to know this person in depth. You laughed hard, especially the part where he typed >_<. 

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