Chapter 1

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It feels like i am drowning and no one can save me.

I looked to the mirror while I signed.

"How can I be like this?" I said out loud talking to myself

"I'm looking like a zombie and these make up only makes it worse" I said as I cleaned my face.

"Make up can't even fix my ugliness"

"Emily! You have to go now or you will be late for school!" I heard my mom as I sighed.

If there is one place I don't want to be right now it's school.

"Emily! Did you hear me!" She jelled again.

"Already leaving!" I screamed back as I went to school. I guess I don't have any choice

When I came to school I putted my books in my locker except the books I needed for my first period. I looked to the big clock hanging on the school wall.

"Still ten minutes till first period" I sighed.

I looked around me trying to find someone I could talk with but I saw none of my friends. I decided to go already to the class of my first period. I walked to the second floor and walked in the art class.

No one was there yet except my art teacher.

"Hey em everything okay?" He said smiling as I putted on a big fake smile.

"More then okay" I said before I walked to the back of the class trying to find my drawing.

"Can you find it?" My teacher said as i looked to him and nodded.

"Yeah I have it" I said taking my drawing as I sat at my table.

I sat for a second on my chair at the table as the bell rang. Great I can't wait to see my classmates again.

*time passed*

"Are you sure you are okay?" One of my best friends on this school said as I looked up. "You aren't, i see. Come here" she said while she gave me the biggest hug ever.

"You know sometimes it's okay not to be okay" she said as I looked to her.

"But what if I had the feeling I will never be okay again?" I said sighing as she smiled to me.

"Everything is going to be okay Emie believe me." Her voice calmed me a little bit down. She was so amazing.

This year I was new on this school and Lara was always there for me, but I wish I knew her longer.

"I have to get my books for the next periods" I said as she nodded.

"Me too let's go"

*time passed*

Finally I was done with school and I walked home not trying to cry but it didn't really work.

As I came home I ran to my room in the hope I wouldn't see anyone. I walked straight to my bed.

I was so tired the last nights I didn't sleep at all and I really felt like sleeping right now.

I layed under my sheets and fell asleep, crying.

"Em! Emily! Wake up we have to eat!" I heard my brother as I opened my eyes.

"I don't want to eat leave me alone" i Said turning around as I heard my mom coming in.

"Come on Emily, eating is important you need to." She Said as I looked to her.

"Okay Maybe something then" I Said as I got out of my bed and went downstairs

"Emmie Please eat" my mom sad as I sighed

"I really don't want to" I said as I looked to the empty chair before me.

I still miss him so much. And there is nothing that can change that.

My mom looked to me as she noticed my tears.

"Well if you don't want to you don't need to" she as she smiled a little bit to me as I smiled back through my tears.

"Thanks mom" I said walking upstairs after I gave her a hug.

I layed to keep calm as I almost fell asleep But then I remembered I had a really important exam tomorrow for which I didn't learn yet.

"SHIT , SHIT , SHIT" I said as i stood up and took my book and tried to study for my history

"The First World War started in 1939, the First World War started in 1939, the First World War started in 1939" I Said a thousand times in my head But there was just only one thing I could think of, his smile his face. How close we were.. It was already 2 years ago , 2 years before he let me down, actually I am saying it wrong , I let him down.

"Come on Em you an do iT just get this in your head" I Said to myself to get my focus again. But after two hours I still didn't knew anything and I gave up.

"I am such an idiot" i Said to myself as i layed down on my bed and fell asleep, crying.

So this is the first chapter of my New book! I hope you liked it and want to continue reading this book. I will update once in the two weeks on Wednesday cause I am very busy at school. Let me know what you think of this first chapter.

Kisses Juul

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